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13. Friends meeting

August 24th

It was a Tuesday evening and the musicians of Wings of Destiny were invited to perform in a restaurant. The friends didn’t have much time to meet and to create new songs. Everyone was busy in his life. They selected six of their own songs and four cover songs. Olli Muotka was not sure to come until the last minute. He was an important member of the band because he was the only one who was able to play the drum. The month of August was quite busy for him because he was travelling through Europe for the ski jumping summer Grand Prix as coach assistant. He accepted to perform because it was Tuesday. The next morning he would have to go to the airport. The following competition was in Japan. His jumpers were not in good shape and the beginning of the campaign had been poor. He hoped that during the break in September a miracle would occur. Veli-Matti Lindström arrived with his wife who insisted to see their gig. She really liked the previous show but the main reason why she came was that Matti would maybe be there. He had been to almost all the concerts. Why not this one? She missed him even after Havu’s warning. The couple Lappi arrived a little bit later. “I was sure that I knew where the restaurant was. But then I realized that it moved,” Arttu explained and the others laughed. They all knew that Arttu was bad at orientation. “Why don’t you use your GPS?” Veli-Matti asked. “Because I was sure to know where I was going. Then, yes. I used it and it’s why I’m here almost on time.”

In the little room Tiina was warming her voice. Arttu was adjusting his bass and Olli was checking the song list. Veli-Matti was repeating some notes on his imaginary keyboard. It was a small gig but all the members took the challenge seriously. In the restaurant almost all the tables were occupied. Janne Happonen was having a glass of white wine with his sister. He didn’t want to come but she insisted. Finally he didn’t regret to have left his house. It was the first evening of the month that he went out. Sanna was curious about the band of friends. Suvi Lappi didn’t want to miss the show. She convinced her mother to go with her. She also said that the restaurant was providing good food. They had dinner an hour earlier with the new husband of Iirja. Nina made an effort. She wore a light grey dress in silk with high heels. She was alone at a round table, drinking champagne. Since she was famous many men were interested in her but she refused all the propositions. She knew exactly what they were looking for. But on the other hand she felt lonely.

The lights went off and the musicians entered on the stage. Some people were applauding and others were whistling. Olli sat behind the drum, Veli-Matti stood behind the keyboard on the right, Arttu was on the left of the stage and Tiina was in the middle. After the first notes she took the microphone and her deep and powerful voice was projected in all the room. As usual she was wearing a black dress. Her face was pale, her eyes and lips were underlined with makeup and her hair was straight. She was wearing a necklace tight to the neck. She was a real gothic. Suvi liked it so much that she got up and danced in front of the stage. It was so good that nobody else dared to go in front of the stage. Then the third song was calmer. It was almost a slow. An old couple was dancing. It was tender and cute. Iirja and her husband joined them. Suvi was smiling from her chair. Some other people joined. A middle age man asked Nina for a dance. She was surprised but accepted. It was not so often that a man was inviting her for a dance. Janne and Sanna did it too. They were laughing because Havu was walking on the feet of his sister and they were not really a couple. Katrina was alone in the corner. She was sad to don’t be able to dance with her husband and that Matti wasn’t there. Suddenly a man touched her shoulder and they went for a dance. From his keyboard Veli-Matti always had an eye on his wife. When he saw with who she was dancing he was smiling. It was Ville Kantee that never missed a show even if he had been banned of the band some years ago because of his poor singing skills and his drinking addiction that ruined many shows.

The closing song was a surprise. It was a cover song from the Italian metal band Rhapsody. The song’s name was... Wings of Destiny!

Day has gone but I'm still here with you
my sweet rose my green hills
beloved sea, lakes and sky
beloved mother earth

Silent land erase my thoughts
I would lose myself in you, whole in you
caress me and my soul while I close my eyes

On wings of destiny
through virgin skies
to far horizons I will fly

Dear peaceful land, dear mother earth
caress my soul while I close my eyes

On wings of destiny
through virgin skies
to far horizons I will fly

On wings of destiny
through virgin skies
to far horizons I will fly

_________________

After the concert that was a success the friends had a drink around the table. “You have been fantastic like ever,” Janne Happonen congratulated his ex-teammates. “I hope that you don’t mind that I’ve borrowed your wife?” Ville asked to Vellu. “Not at all.” Suvi didn’t want to sit on a chair. She preferred to be on the laps of her father. “You smell,” she noted. “You should know as artist that a gig is like to play a football game,” he answered and she realized how her remark was senseless. “Don’t worry. I’ll take a shower when I’ll be home,” he replied. “Nina, you didn’t come with your living dead?” Ville asked with irony. “You are not funny. I went there to enjoy the music even if it’s not really my style,” she confessed. “It’s cool that we have something in common. These little concerts are good reasons to meet. Otherwise we are all busy with our lives and we always find stupid excuses to don’t meet,” Veli-Matti noted. “You are right. When is the next ski jumpers’ meeting? Last time was almost ten years ago,” Havu told and the others realized that it was true. Time was going too fast. “I don’t know. Adam has moved to Canada now and to contact him is not easy with the jetlag. He has his own company that builds summer cottages. Björn is not in the mood to organize anything. Do you remember the crash of the SAS plane in the Atlantic sea last spring? His whole family died. His parents, brother, sister in law, their children and his grandmother.” “Why didn’t you tell us? Vellu! It’s your job to inform us,” Ville almost jumped. “It’s not my job. You can also write emails. But you are too selfish and only think of your own problems,” Vellu replied. The table was silent. They all realized that they were not better than Ville. “We should organize the meeting. But I’m quite busy and I’ll need your help,” Lindström told. “I’d like to help but my life is a mess at the moment and I’ve a lot of work,” Havu said. “I’m unable to organize such an event,” Ville admitted. “Maybe Ahonen can do it,” Olli suggested. “I need to plan everything well in advance but what do we need to do exactly?” Arttu asked. “Forget about it. We’ll do it in thirty years in a rest home when half of us will be dead,” Vellu answered, disappointed.

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14. Lies and betrayals

October 1st

Aleksander Lindström was happy. It was Wednesday afternoon and his father allowed him to come to his office and sit in his light green leather chair. Veli-Matti was the CEO of his company the Bio Fork which was delivering healthy meals to companies. His business was very successful and every year he had to hire new employees in the kitchen but also truck drivers and people in the administration. As partner he had a dialectician which was checking each menu to guarantee the best possible quality. The little boy was observing the certificates and awards in the frames on the wall. It was pretty impressive. The shelf was also green and was full of folders with all the financial records. Everything was also saved in electronic format but Vellu never trusted the computers. Since he launched his company he already had four computers. When the first one broke he lost a lot of data. He said never again. The curtains were also green as well as the fitted carpet. Aleksander took off his shoes and walked a bit on the two centimetres long hair of the carpet. It was really nice. Almost like to walk on the grass. He sat back in the chair which turned on itself. He was facing the window. The view wasn’t very interesting. There were other buildings.

Someone entered silently in the office and closed the door. “Look at what I have for you, my sweet Vellu,” a sweet female voice said. The little boy turned and the woman jumped back and closed her shirt. But it was too late. The little boy saw her beautiful bra. “I... I’m confused. I thought that... it was the bathroom,” she said under high stress. She was probably twenty-five years old. Her blond hair was brushed in bunches with red scrunches assorted with her lip stick. She was skinny and could be a model. Her shirt seemed to be a bit narrow and her breast seemed to be huge. The fabric was tense and if she moved too much it could break. She was wearing a black skirt mi-tight and black boots. The boy also noted that she recently splashed herself a lot of sweet perfume. Alexander took the green pen of his father and a piece of paper. “You’re fired. Thanks for entertaining my father but he loves my mom,” the eleven years old boy announced. “Sweetheart. What’s your name?” she asked with a wide smile that seemed to be fake. “Aleksander.” “Listen Aleksander. I love my job here and your father like it as well. I’m the sale assistant and I’m an important member of this company. If you tell what you saw and I’m fired then maybe your father will have to sell the company to someone else. Do you really want to make him sad?” she said with a face of little girl who wanted a candy.

“What’s wrong sweetie?” Katrina asked when she was preparing a hot chocolate for her son. “Nothing...” Aleksander replied, still thinking of what he saw in the office of his father. “Do you think that some people can be Machiavellian?” “Yes, some are. I know one person. Nina,” his mother answered. “You should talk with dad about the blond bimbo.” “What? Which bimbo? What happened? Tell me,” she requested, a bit surprised and stressed. “You really want to know? I think that this girl wants something from dad and in exchange she...” “She what?” Katrina insisted. “You know what I mean. Today she showed me her boobs. Well she still had her bra on. I will ride my bike,” the boy said before to leave the kitchen. Katrina sat, lost and desperate. She hoped that it was a misunderstanding. She couldn’t believe that her husband could cheat. Not him, not her Vellu. Suddenly she remembered the message of her mother from the other side. It was a warning. Why was she so naive? She took a tissue and cried in silence. She couldn’t believe that it happened.

“Mom, why are you crying?” This question came from Juha, the fourth son of the family. “I cut some onions. It’s not bad. But Mom needs a hug,” she said and the little boy ran to her arms. “I love you Mom and I don’t like when you are sad,” Juha told and Katrina smiled.

“Are you cheating?” Katrina asked her husband when they were alone and the boys were in their rooms. “I’m not. Why would I do it? I love you,” he replied while he unfastened his green tie. “Her hair is shorter than mine. How many times I saw them on your shirts.” “I meet a lot of people every day and many girls are blond. We are in Finland not in Mexico,” he justified. “So, explain me why this woman entered in your office with the shirt open... In front of our son,” she said very angry. He coughed and took off his shirt to wear a more comfortable one. “Well, she probably opened the wrong door,” he answered and she didn’t believe him. “Fire this woman. You don’t need such bitches in your company.” “I can’t fire people without a good reason. All my employees are loyal and work well. I never fired someone and I hope that I will never do it.” “Why? You want to get a medal? Or maybe another frame to add on the wall with the writing: best boss in Finland?” she told still very angry. She felt that the tears were coming to her eyes. “I will investigate tomorrow. Now I just want to relax and to spend some time with you. Can you forget this conversation for a little while?” Finally she accepted.

_________________

The next day Moona was in the office of her boss. The door was closed. “Is everything alright? You look worried,” she told. Her legs were crossed and she was swinging her foot. She hoped that he would notice that she bought new high heels. “We have to be more discreet. My wife knows something,” he said when he was looking by the window with his cup of coffee in the hand. “Because you showed your breast to my son. Never do it again or you’ll be the first person I will fire.” “Is it a threat? If you are playing that game, it’s alright. But you won’t win easily. How many female workers are victim of sexual harassment by their boss? You can’t win. But you’re right. We have to be more discreet,” she answered, looking at her manicured nails with a devilish smile.

When her boys were at school Katrina went to a café with her twins and hoped that her friend would come. She needed to talk and to get some advices. “Oh Katrina, you don’t look good. Do you sleep well?” Tiia said while she sat with a cup of coffee. “I need your help. I think that my husband is cheating on me. What should I do?” she asked worried. “Well... you have several options. The first one is to ignore and live with it. Honestly I don’t recommend. The most radical option is to divorce. But you have to be sure that he is cheating.” “I can’t. I love him and I want to stay with him. It’s also important for the kids that we stay together. But I can’t let him freely see his lover. It has to stop,” she explained. “If I understand well, he doesn’t care that it’s a problem for you?” the elegant blond woman asked. “He doesn’t take it seriously.” Tiia was looking around like if she was looking for a solution. Suddenly she smiled. “Have an affair.” “What? Are you crazy? Do you think that I’m this kind of woman?” “Men never understand that for us trust and faithfulness is important. But they get hurt when we behave like them. Janne cheated hundreds of times and he didn’t get why I was upset. Once I did it and he needed an explanation. After this conversation he started to think differently,” Tiia explained. “With whom did you sleep?” “A random guy. But it was not the point. You should really do it if you want to keep your husband. Havu is free at the moment. He slept with Nina. I guess that he won’t refuse to do it with you.”

Katrina was crying while she was driving her car. She couldn’t accept that it happened to her. What did she do wrong? Maybe it was too hard to take care of six kids with six different needs and problems and to satisfy her husband. When she arrived to her destination she carried her twins to the house. She fed them and put them in a secure place. She looked at them for a little while. When they were sleeping she got up and opened the door of a dark room. She closed it and walked silently to the bed. She felt some movements under the cover. “What are you doing here?” he murmured, still sleepy. “I missed you so much that I had to come,” she answered in a low voice. She came closer and touched his hair. “Do you like me?” she asked. “Yes, I like you. You are nice,” he answered a bit confused. In the darkness he heard that she was taking off her clothes. “What are you doing?” “I’m a bit cold. Can I come under the blanket?” she asked and he accepted. He moved on the other side of the bed to let her some space. “Your hands are cold,” he said when he touched them. “Can you warm them?” He took her hands between his and did his best. “I will tell you something that seems crazy. I hope that you won’t be mad. Matti, I love you.” He didn’t reply to her words. He was almost shocked. Was she serious? She was the first person to love him since Cassandra and he was stressed by the situation. He knew that she was married and had six kids. Why was she in his bed? And what did he feel for her? Was it love or friendship?

“Vellu, I’ve a lover. I slept with him this afternoon,” Katrina announced the betrayal to her husband who laughed. “You? To have a lover? You are kidding. I don’t believe you.” “Yes, it’s true and it was wonderful. It was passionate. Are you jealous?” He was nervous and was walking in the room. “How did you dare to...?” “I dared because you are doing the same. Now we are equal. Let’s stop it right now. Tell to your bimbo that it’s over,” Katrina told. “Okay you win. I’ll tell her. But we never did it! I just hope that you are not pregnant. The house is too small for a seventh child,” Vellu said, a bit pale before to drink a sip of whisky. Katrina was happy to notice that he understood how painful it was to be betrayed by the person he trusted the most. “Did you sleep with Havu?” “Why everybody thinks that I sleep with him? No, it was not him. You don’t know him. It was a random guy,” she lied.

_________________

15. Secret expedition

November 26th

When Katrina Lindström rang at the door of her neighbour she was surprised to see a woman. Was Havu already dating someone? “Is Janne there?” she asked a bit shy but also curious. She wanted to know who she was. “He should be back in a couple of minutes. He went to the shop. Can I take a message?” Katrina was disappointed. She hoped that she would invite her to come in and talked a bit. “I’m Katrina the neighbour. I live there in the red house,” she introduced. “I’m Sanna. Janne’s sister,” the woman with the brown hair answered. “Oh yes! Now I remember. You were at the gig of Wings of Destiny. Are you visiting or spending some days there?” Sanna thought that Katrina was a bit too curious. Why did she want to know it? “I’ve a pie in the oven. I’m sorry. I’ve to go,” Sanna lied and closed the door.

“Hello, sister. I’ve everything to make an apple pie. I hope that I bought the right ingredients,” he explained when he was back. That winter was pretty cold and early. The temperatures were under minus ten since almost a month and there was a lot of snow. Many Finns were depressed because they knew that the snow will last until April. “I’m sure that you did well. Why do you doubt about your abilities?” she asked while she took the items from the fabric bag. “I don’t know. Probably because I’m a bad cook and it was Maria who was shopping,” he said while he sat. His sister was preparing the dough in a round shape with a rolling pin. She was fast. Then she peeled and cut the apples. “Oh I forgot to tell you. Your neighbour Katrina wanted to tell you something.” “I’m too lazy to get up and ring at her door. She has six kids and I hate when they scream,” he complained. “Call her and tell her to come,” she suggested and he thought that it was a good idea.

Less than three minutes later Katrina was sat in the living room. “When are you going to the island?” she asked. “I don’t know. I can’t really go there now. My sister is here,” he justified. “The ice must be solid enough now. Let’s go tonight. I have some bakeries and other handmade stuff for him,” she told in a low voice. She didn’t know if Havu told about him to his sister. “Katrina, it’s really sweet but I really don’t know when I will be able to go.” “What did he do before the accident? He was your best friend and now you don’t want to visit. Janne, he is alone. It’s dark, it’s cold, it’s winter and the only person who visits is Nina. He must be depressed. He needs company. Please, Havu,” she begged. “Why don’t you go there alone?” “It’s far away, it’s dark, there is ice on the road and I’m scared to have an accident or to get lost. I need you,” she added, still begging for him to accept the night trip.

Sanna was observing the conversation. She wondered what was going on. Why a female neighbour was visiting a lonely man and talking in a low voice in his living room. It was certain that she didn’t want to share her conversation. Why? What was secret? “Anyone wants a coffee?” she proposed when she entered in the room. Janne and Katrina almost jumped. Sanna didn’t like it. “No, thanks,” they answered. They didn’t continue their conversation until they were sure that she was back to the kitchen. “I will discover your little secret my dear brother. You can be sure,” she murmured for herself in the kitchen.

After dinner they ate a piece of apple pie which was delicious. Janne asked for the recipe and she told that if he was stayed in the kitchen he would have learnt. “Katrina was there. I couldn’t stay,” he justified. “Do I have to remind you that you called her? Why didn’t you tell to come half an hour later? Janne, I’ve the feeling that you always escape the kitchen. I won’t be there forever to cook for you. In few days I’ll go back to my flat and you will have to cook yourself. What’s wrong with you? Do you still have your food disorder from your ski jumping period?” she asked. “I don’t know. Sometimes I eat for five people and sometimes I don’t eat at all. I don’t really have pleasure when I eat. I guess that I’m still not totally healed. Maybe I’ll never be. Like my former teammates,” he said with a bit of sadness in the voice. He was remembering these terrible years when he had to count each calorie he was eating. How often was he still hungry after the meals? How many times did he want to eat greasy French fries or a sweet bun?

“I’ve to go. Tonight is my night shift. I’ll be back in the middle of the night. Don’t wait for me. You can use whatever you want,” he told while he was closing his jacket. “Be careful.” “I’m always.” “Where is your gun?” she asked and he realized that it was upstairs in his night desk. “Thanks. I’ve forgotten,” he said before to take off the winter shoes he just wore and went quickly to his bedroom. “Have a nice evening,” he said with a shy smile. She didn’t know why but she had the feeling that he was not going to work but to meet a woman. A blond woman. “Janne, you are a bad liar. I can’t believe that you have a night shift when you have already worked more than eight hours today. And a policeman never forget his pistol,” she said while she was looking through the window. He was scratching the ice on the windows of his car. Ten minutes later he left alone. But she was sure that Katrina was waiting for him in another street.

Effectively. Janne stopped his car in a narrow street and her neighbour put a basket on the back seat before to seat in the front. They travelled in silence in the darkness of the Finnish winter. The road was slippery but Janne was very careful. They needed more time than expected to reach the lake. “And now?” she asked. There was still about one kilometre until the island. “Are you sporty?” “What?” she asked surprised. He opened the back of his car and took two pairs of skis. They wore them and crossed the lake. They were not skiing very fast. Janne was carrying the basket and Katrina was out of breathing. The air was so cold that she had the feeling that her lungs were freezing. They arrived on the island more than an hour later totally tired.

“Matti? Where are you?” Janne asked. It was weird. It was one in the morning and no candle was lighted. It wasn’t normal that he was still sleeping. He pushed the door of the bedroom which was totally dark. He took a candle that he lighted and walked to the bed. “Matti...” he murmured while he sat on the bed. He lighted his face and saw that he was sleeping. But he also saw that he had a perfusion on his opposite hand. “Are you sick?” he asked and touched his forehead. He didn’t have fever. “Matti, wake up. Tell me something,” he insisted but his friend didn’t open his eyes. “Katrina?” he asked and she went to the room. “Tell me what she did to him. Why doesn’t he wake up?” he said with a lump in the throat. She came closer and checked his heartbeats and temperature. Janne was beating his finger nails. “I don’t know. You have to ask Nina. I’m afraid,” she answered. “Fuck. I hate it,” he replied. He took his phone, exited the room and called the woman he hated the most in his life. “What have you done to Matti?” “Janne, I was sleeping,” she complained. “I don’t care. I want to know what you did to him. Don’t tell me that he will never wake up.” “Stop whining. I’m not a monster. I still need him. I won’t kill him. At my last visit I understood that I couldn’t go for a couple of weeks until the ice is solid enough. To avoid that he get injured or sick I placed him into coma. I will wake him up at my next visit. But at the moment I have no time,” she explained. “What will be the consequences? Will he be the same?” he asked, worried. “Nobody knows. Good night sweetheart.” “Don’t call me sweetheart! I’m not your boyfriend and I’ll never be,” he replied with the teeth tight but she hung up.

“We can do nothing. He will not wake up,” Janne told when he went back to the room. “She is really a witch. How can she decide what is good or not for him. He is not a toy.” “I know but we can do nothing. The only possibility to make him free is to kill him.” “Are you serious?” she asked, shocked. “Let’s do it with a pillow.” “No, don’t kill him. Havu, please! I’d like to know him more. He is such a nice person,” she begged with tears in her eyes. “What did he do to you? Are you in love with him?” he asked coldly. “I’m a mother and I felt that he is in pain and needs someone. But his mother can’t comfort. It’s why I’m here.” “What? Are you a psychologist now? He is an adult. He can solve his problems alone like all the big boys do. You can’t replace his mother. He signed a deal with the devil and now he has to assume the consequences. Let’s go back now. We have to ski for an hour.” “I’m coming,” she said while she touched Matti's hair and then softly his cheek. “I’ll never let your alone,” she murmured and kissed his cheek. Janne saw it and had a bad feeling about it. That story would not have a happy end. He was sure about it.

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16. Rebel teenagers

December 10th

Arttu Lappi was sat in his living room, drinking a cup of coffee. He was looking at his garden through the window. The snow was totally covering the terrace and the grass. There was over forty centimetres of snow on the table where he was used to have barbecue in summertime. He was wearing a white turtle neck shirt and a jean. In the armchair on the other side of the table there was his friend Anssi Koivuranta. He was mixing his coffee in silence. His rings were reflecting the light at each movement. He was wearing a dark purple hat, a black shirt with a guitar embroidered and a large jean. He came few hours ago to help Suvi to play the bass. That instrument was not easy to play and she needed some advises on the technique. Anssi was in pause in his tour and it was the reason why he found some time to help her. The next gig was scheduled for New Year ’s Eve at Tavastia. “She is really talented. She should join the music school,” Anssi advised after have spent the afternoon with Suvi. “I appreciate your comment but I’ve to say no. Music must stay a hobby. Studies are more important,” the father replied. “There are millions of lawyers but few talented musicians. She must become a professional singer and bassist,” the singer told. “I’m her father and I know what is good for her. Failure is too important. You have been lucky. Maybe she won’t.” “How can you know? She can go to the casting of Idols. It can be a good start.” “I don’t want her to be ridiculous,” Arttu answered. “She won’t. She is very good. She has potential. Do you get it?” Anssi insisted. “What will happen if she sacrifices everything for her career and that finally she can’t even record a single song? She will be without a job, certificates and money. It’s better to be reasonable. She will go to university,” Arttu kept his position. “I can see that you have forgotten that you have been a sportsman. It was also a risky career. You experimented success but also failure. Look at you. Today you are a lawyer, you have a family and you are happy. Let me help her. I know people that can be interested in her. They will see if she has any chance. Don’t destroy her dream.” “I said no. Music is a hobby not a profession,” the father repeated, the arms crossed.

Suvi was sat in the stairs and was listening to their conversation. She was disappointed that her father seemed to be against her idea to become a superstar. She thought that he was by her side. He did so much to help her. He was her first fan at each show. But there it was clear that he would not help her. She decided that she would never be a lawyer. If she failed in her dream she would do something else but something that her father didn’t like. Maybe to be a hair dresser or a graphist. Some of these artistic jobs that he was not considering as real jobs.

Anssi left the house around 4pm. He took the remote from his pocket and unlocked his car. He opened the door and turned on the engine before to clean the front window that was covered by a thin layer of fresh snow. “Anssi, don’t let me down. My father is stupid. He doesn’t understand that it’s important for me,” the teenager with brown hair begged. “You are under eighteen. I can’t go against your parents’ decisions. I’m sorry,” he explained. “No... Anssi you can’t do it to me. You know that it’s my dream. Don’t break it. Please,” she insisted, crying. The signer was embarrassed. “Work hard and never give up. When you’ll be 18, I’ll be there for you. I promise,” he told to the young girl.

In the red house in Käpylä Oliver was getting ready for his romantic afternoon with his girlfriend. Veli-Matti Lindström was looking at him. “Will you really go and meet your girlfriend with these clothes?” he asked, perplex. “Yes, it’s the last trend,” the young boy answered. “You look like my grandfather,” Vellu answered. His son was wearing round golden glasses, his hair was brushed backward with gel. He was wearing a white shirt with brown squares, a brown cardigan, brown trousers and white socks over his trousers until the knee. Oliver was fourteen and was allowed to have a girlfriend. She was living in the neighbourhood and Katrina and Veli-Matti knew her parents. They were good people. Since they heard about the night trips of some boys they had a closer look on their children. But they let them some freedom to avoid that they did something in their back. This technique was apparently working. Even though they ignored about the night trips of Aleksander few months ago.

Aleksander was a bit problematic. He was in a difficult age. His friends were experimenting things that seemed to be fun and his parents didn’t allow him to join. Because of that many boys didn’t want him to join the coolest group of the school. Many times he found his bike broken in the school yard. He couldn’t complain because the boys threatened to beat him. His parents noted something unusual but he never talked. One day he decided to behave like a big boy. He took a stone and threw it in the face of the leader. The boy was bleeding and had to go to the hospital. Aleksander broke his cheekbone. Since that day he was a bit more respected in the school yard.

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17. A cool guy

January 12th, 2030

Sanna spent some days at Havu’s place after the Christmas holidays. He had been sick and instead of staying at home he went to work and his flu turned to pneumonia. Early January he was feeling better physically but he was again mentally down. It was the first time he spent Christmas and New Year alone. He was sad and was criticizing everything. She forced him to be more organized and to stop complaining. She also insisted that he joined a club of something to meet people. Because of his work it was hard to find something that was quite flexible... and that he liked. “Do I really have to do it?” “Yes, you have. Look at you. You look like a sleeping bear during winter. You need to talk about something else than work, neighbours, family and friends. What do you like? Painting? Theatre? Basketball? Bowling?” she proposed. “I like to relax at home on the sofa with a can of beer in my hand. My job is demanding and it’s important to me to rest,” he told. “You can join a book club.” “Are you kidding? Do I look like someone who reads books? When do you want that I read?” “Okay, then why not a cooking course?” she suggested. “I don’t want to poison the other participants.” “Janne! You are depressing. I try to help you and you make no effort. Why don’t you jump in the veteran category?” “I haven’t jumped for years. I will break my leg at the landing. And my knees are too fragile. I don’t want to end up in a wheel chair. Any other clever ideas or can I watch something stupid at TV?” “Watch your stupid TV show but I don’t give up,” she said while she got up and went to the kitchen to cook dinner.

She prepared a simple carrot soup and called Janne when it was ready. “It smells good. Thanks for cooking.” “You’re welcome. But you know Janne, I think that you should learn to cook something better than just warming readymade food. It’s bad for your health. I don’t want that you get sick. I don’t want to lose you,” she told. “I will not die by eating frozen pizzas. Why do you think I will die?” he asked, perplexed. “I lived too long far from you. Now that I’m getting old I realized how much my family is important to me. Let me help you,” she begged. “Thanks for your help. And I’ll be always there for you too. Don’t leave the country without my permission,” he said with a smile and they laughed. At the end of the meal Janne was looking at his plate. “How much time did you need to prepare the soup?” “Five minutes and it cooked for twenty minutes.” “Wow, it’s quicker than to warm a frozen pizza. Can you teach me how to cook a carrot soup?” “Sure I can. What do you think about joining a course for beginners?” she suggested with a smile. “Good idea. Can you book it for me?” “Janne! Do you need also a computer course?” she laughed about his laziness. “I will manage. But maybe I will request your help.” “You’re a big boy. You will find a course for you.”

The following Monday Janne was late for his first cooking lesson. He had to stay longer at work and had no possibility to escape. He took the elevator to the second floor and was happy to see that the other participants were waiting for the teacher. Everybody looked at him but no one greeted. He didn’t do it either. He wondered why they were so many people. He estimated that they were more than thirty. “Havu! What a surprise.” He turned and saw Arttu Lappi arriving. He was later than him. “Hi, nice to see you. Are you taking the course for beginners?” the policeman asked. “No, the sushi course. It’s really great. I love Asian food especially Japanese. To make good sushi is not that easy. It’s the third lesson today. Next week I’ll try to impress my colleague Antero. He is coming to have dinner at my place. He said that he is the best cook and I challenged him,” the lawyer explained. “Well, I will not challenge you. Not yet. But once I promise to invite you and you’ll tell me if it’s okay.” “I write it on a blank page of my agenda. Don’t forget to call me. I’ll be glad to taste what you will do,” Arttu said. “But tell me Janne. Did you smoke marijuana?” “No! I don’t smoke. Do I smell marijuana?” Havu asked in a panic. “Yes... what have you done?” “I’ve arrested two guys that were dealing in the back room of a bar where everybody was smoking. I stayed there maybe twenty minutes. I guess that it was enough for my clothes to smell. Fuck. And I didn’t have time to go home and change clothes. What will the others think of me?” “That you are a cool guy,” Arttu laughed. They couldn’t continue their conversation because their teachers opened the doors of the two kitchens.

The first part of the course was theoretical. Janne did his best but he was almost falling asleep. “Now, let’s train,” the cook said. It was a woman, middle aged with short brown hair and rounded golden glasses. They were in pairs at a table. “What do we have to do?” Janne murmured to his partner. “To cut the carrots,” the young boy replied. He was maybe just over twenty with spots on his face. His hair was blond and his nose looked like a potato. “Is it good one?” “What?” Janne asked. “I mean: is it good quality? Do you sell or do you consume?” the young guy asked. “It’s not your business. Why? Do you smoke?” Janne asked while he was trying to peel his carrot and not his fingers. “Sometimes with my friends. It’s pretty cool. How much is it?” “Do I look like a dealer?” Janne asked. “How a dealer looks like?” the boy asked. “Do you know what I do to the dealers? I bring them to prison and guys like you too. Any other questions?” “Are you a cop?” “Are you scared?” Janne asked back. “Forget what I told you,” the boy replied, almost shaking. “I will. I’m not working. I’m here to meet new people and to learn something. But no. My partner here is a marijuana smoker. Can’t you just be a boy that wants to learn how to cook stew for your girlfriend?” Havu requested. “Yes, I am. Cool man. By the way, you should smoke marijuana.” “Stop talking or you’ll force me to drive you to the police station.” “I’m Antti. What’s your name?” “Janne. And you’ll know nothing more about me. Get it?” “Yes, grandpa.” Janne looked at him with a dark sight but didn’t reply. Why was he his partner? He just wanted to meet normal people. But apparently they were hard to find.

“How was it? What did you learn?” Sanna asked when her brother was back. “How to cut a carrot and that it’s healthy. And also that I should smoke marijuana,” he said while he climbed the stairs. “What? Who told you that?” she asked while she followed him to the bedroom. He took off his shirt and threw it to the laundry basket. “Arttu and Antti my partner. I should smoke to be a cool guy,” he told with irony while he took off his socks and his trouser. “Don’t listen to them. You are fine and cool without smoking. They are just jealous that you don’t need illicit products to feel good.” “I need a shower. Can you leave my room please?” “Sure,” she said before to close the door.

“Do you mean that Arttu is smoking?” she asked when he was back with the hair wet. “I don’t know. Maybe he was joking. He is a lawyer. I can’t imagine that he might smoke weed,” Janne told while he was thinking of his friend. “You can be surprised. My science teacher at university was smoking marijuana. She was someone very serious and I never thought that she could do it. It was so funny when we saw her near her car,” she reminded.”By the way. Will you go again to the course?” she asked. “If I can change partner, yes. It’s cool. I like the teacher and I need to do something and to meet people. And it’s very useful for me. Now that I’m alone I need to cook. You were right. Thank you.”

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18. Pure craziness

January 29th

As soon as all her kids were at school, Katrina drove her car in the direction of Turku with her twins on the back seats. The boys were already over one year old. They were curious and looked at the landscape. But it was boring. Only trees, snow and a long straight road. After few kilometres they were sleeping. The mother knew that she should not go to the island but she felt the need to go. She hadn’t been there for over a month and Nina was again giving conferences somewhere on the planet. When she arrived to the lake there was still some light. In the back of the car she had her skis. But with two kids to carry plus a basket, the task looked difficult. The lake was totally frozen and covered by a thick layer of snow. The ski tracks of the previous expedition were covered. She decided to go to the island by car. Near Helsinki she saw some people crossing the lakes and even the sea with their vehicles. One day she also saw a truck.

She sat behind the wheel and breathed deeply. Her car was a minivan not an off-road. She knew that it was not a full traction. The first difficulty was the amount of snow between the car and the lake. She put the back gear several times and tried again. After the seventh attempt the car climbed over the obstacle. She pressed gently the gas pedal and the back wheels also went over the amount of snow. She drove only with the first and second gear. She was driving very slowly. The snow was deep and the car was sinking. She put a bit more gas. The wheels were turning on themselves but the car was not moving. “Come on! You can’t do it to me. I know that you can do it. Please. Don’t let me here.” She left the car and moved the snow that was stacked in front of the wheels. She had the feeling to be an unlucky participant to the Dakar. In a way snow was the same as sand.

The sun was slowly going down behind the trees. It was getting colder and colder. She was desperate. She was on the lake since almost two hours and she couldn’t see the island. She was also in a panic. She would never have enough time to drive back before her kids came back from school. She took her phone. She needed help. She selected the name of her neighbour in her list. But them she thought that he would need two hours to come and he would be furious. He would say that she was totally stupid and that he told her to don’t go alone to the island.

Matti was in his kitchen preparing some coffee while he was listening to some music. He woke up quite early because winter was a good time for him. He thought that he could do some laundry and later do some ice fishing. He looked at the thermometer and it wasn’t too cold. Just minus twelve. When his coffee was ready he took his cup and sat at the table. He was surprised to see some light coming from his phone. He was even more surprised to see that Katrina was calling. When he heard her story he abandoned his cup, wore warm clothes, took a flash light and walked in the deep snow. He couldn’t go fast because he had snow until his knees. His face was reddish because of the cold and the effort. He hoped that he was walking in the right direction.

He joined the car thirty minutes later. “Oh Matti! I’m so happy to see you,” Katrina said while she jumped in his arms. Some tears were running on her cheeks. She knew that she did something totally stupid and she exposed the lives of her kids into danger. “Katrina, you are... It’s totally crazy what you did. Nobody is living nearby. There are only abandoned summer cottages. It’s pure craziness.” “I know. Help me to go back. My family should not notice that I came there,” she told, under stress. Matti was looking at the car and the snow. He opened the trunk and took the sled of Juha. He used it to remove the snow under the car and around. “Go behind the wheel. Try to put a bit of gas and turn left. I will push the car,” he explained and they tried. The problem was that the car was heavy and Katrina was in a panic. She was putting too much gas and the wheels were slipping or not enough and the engine switched off. After almost half an hour the car was in the right direction. Katrina was still driving and Matti was pushing. Sometimes he was almost running. He was tired and out of breathing. He was freezing. He sat in the car a little while. His fingers were red. Katrina took her thermos and gave to him a cup of warm tea. “How will you go back to the island?” she asked worried. “I’ll walk.” “But it’s dark and you are tired,” she answered. “I have no choice. I don’t want to sleep in an igloo,” he said while he showed his cup and she re-filled it. “I’m so sorry,” she murmured, biting her inferior lip.

After the little break they continued. The last obstacle was the hardest. Matti had no more strength to push the car. The vehicle went back a couple of times and Katrina hoped that he would not get injured. After a last effort the car went up the amount of snow. “Have a safe driving. If you are late, don’t rush. Stop in a shop and buy something. See you next time with Havu, okay?” he asked out of breathing. “I can’t let you here. You will never reach the island. You will freeze. Come with me,” she said while she opened the passenger door. “I can’t leave the island. Havu...” “Havu will understand. He has a heart and he likes you. He doesn’t want that something bad happens. Everything is my fault. I’ll talk to him,” she promised.

Janne Happonen was watching a good movie when someone was ringing at his door. He complained and decided to don’t move from the sofa. He was under the covers. It was warm. And why was it always when he was watching a good program that he was interrupted. The person insisted and he had to get up. “What?” he muttered. His hair was messy and he was wearing a wool shirt over his pyjama. “Havu I’m sorry but I need your help. Can you open the door of the little flat?” Katrina asked, a bit ashamed. “Not now. The commercials are over,” he answered, closing the door but she blocked it. “Matti is in my car under a cover. Can you open the door, please,” she insisted in a low voice. “Why the fuck is he in your car? What happened?” “It’s a long story. I can’t let him enter my house and it’s too cold in my car. Tonight it will be minus twenty.” “Fine. But you have to buy a DVD for me.” “Deal. Thank you so much,” she thanked. “You will kill me... both of you...” he said almost to himself while he was wearing his shoes.

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19. The challenge

March 24th

Some weeks later, Janne Happonen talked to Arttu Lappi about his competition idea. “But no woman and no cheating,” the lawyer replied to the phone. “No woman and no cheating,” Havu promised. “Challenge accepted.” The next Saturday Janne and Sanna cleaned the whole house. When it was done they went to the shop. Janne made a list with all the ingredients he needed. Sanna was amazed. She didn’t know that her brother could be so methodical, especially for shopping. “Now Sanna, you can meet your friends, spend your salary on clothing, or watch a movie but don’t stay here. The house is closed till 6,” Janne announced and she had no other choice than to leave.

“Let’s start,” Janne said for himself. He took his phone and set up the final time at 5:30pm. He started with the dessert. He warmed the oven, prepared the dough, peeled and cut the apples. When it was in the oven he set up an alarm to 50 minutes. He cleaned quickly the table and prepared the vegetables for the main course. But it was longer and harder than expected. He was stressing. He was late on his schedule. He thought that he was able to peel and cut the vegetables in ten minutes. He was already doing that since twenty minutes. But he didn’t give up. When they were in the water, boiling, he went to the living room to set the table. He aligned the plates, moved the chairs, adjusted the knives and forks. “The smallest outside,” he repeated for himself. He took a lot of time. He wanted that his table looked great.

Suddenly he was interrupted. He swore and opened the door. It was Oliver Lindström and two other boys of his age. “I’m sorry Mr Happonen. We were playing football and the ball is stacked on your roof,” the boy told, embarrassed. Janne wore his shoes and looked at the problem. But then he heard the sound of his switch. “Ask your father to get it with a scale. I can’t help you. I’m very busy.” “He is not at home and I can’t ask my mother to do it,” Oliver begged. “How old are you?” “Fifteen.” “You are old enough to do it. There is a scale in my garage. Take it, get your ball and bring my scale back in the garage exactly where you take it. Am I clear?” “Yes, sir.” “Next time play ice hockey. We are in Finland and in winter. Not in summer in Brazil.” And Havu went back, closed his door and ran to the kitchen. “Oh no, no, no. That can’t be true.” He opened the oven and took the pie out. The crust that was in the back of the oven was over cooked, almost black. “Stupid kids,” he swore. He was in trouble. He couldn’t skip the dessert. It was part of the challenge and he couldn’t just put some ice cream in a plate. He couldn’t make a second pie because he ran out of dough. He had no clue how to make it himself. He took his phone and broke the rule. He asked for help. “Hi Katrina. I’m in big trouble. I’ve some guests coming soon and I ruined my dessert. Well, your son ruined my dessert. May I ask you to make one of your delicious apple pies for me?... You’re the best. Thank you.” He put the phone on the chair and continued his cooking.

“I thought that you were not friend with Havu,” Tiina said while she was wearing the necklace Arttu offered to her for Christmas. “He has always been my friend. We just didn’t have the same point of view on some subjects. But he made great progress and I appreciate that he wants to show me that he changed. It’s why I accepted his challenge. I just hope that he will not cheat. Trust is important in our fragile friendship,” he told, fastening his tie in front of the mirror. “Why do you wear this tie?” “The colour doesn’t fit my shirt?” he asked a bit surprised. “It’s perfect but Havu is just a friend. It’s not an official reception, he is not living in a high standard place and if I remember well he is more casual and relaxed than someone serious and elegant,” she reminded and Arttu was considering her words. In a way she was right but he didn’t want to look for other clothes. “I keep my tie. By the way, you look amazing,” he said before to kiss softly her lips. She was wearing a shirt in purple silk, a black skirt under the knees, black high heels and a bit of makeup.

Arttu waited behind the door of Janne that it was six sharp before to ring. The couple was laughing. They heard that on the other side Havu was in a panic. Something probably in the kitchen fell on the floor, he was moving something, maybe a chair and he was swearing. When the second hand was over the number twelve of his watch, Arttu pressed the bell button. Some seconds later Janne opened the door and welcomed his guests. He looked exhausted, was sweating and his clothes were dirty. “Bad timing?” Arttu asked. “Bad planning. But I don’t give up. You will be amazed,” Janne announced and Arttu was impressed. “Please sit in the living room. My sister should come soon. I take a quick shower and I’m coming back,” Havu said. “Minus two points,” Arttu answered and winked at him.

Arttu sat on the sofa and looked at the table in front of him. It was cleaned and there were fresh flowers in a small vase. But there was no plate and no glass. He thought that Janne was very late on his schedule. In a way he was happy. He knew that he was more organized and would be on time and it also showed that he didn’t cheat. Tiina was looking at the dinner table. She noted that the glasses were at equal distance from the plates and aligned exactly the same. How did he do that? “Please, sit Tiina. I’m coming in a second,” Janne said while he went down the stairs very quickly. His hair was still wet. He wore a brown trouser and a beige turtleneck shirt. “Hi everyone. Sorry to be late,” Sanna apologized while she took off her coat and shoes. Havu exited the kitchen and introduced quickly the members of his special evening before to run again to the kitchen. “We already met. At the gig,” Sanna reminded and Havu recognized his mistakes. Arttu and Tiina were laughing. “Do you need help?” Sanna asked. “No, go to the sofa and talk. I’m coming,” Janne said from the kitchen.

“It’s weird for me to see my brother cooking a whole meal. I don’t know what came to his mind,” Sanna said with a smile. “You know how men are. They always want to compete. I guess that he wants to show that he is learning something at his cooking course,” the lawyer told. “Oh yes, that’s right. Is it there that you decided to compete and your turn is next Saturday?” Tiina asked. “He called me about the challenge. I think that it’s a good idea. But honestly I can already tell you ladies that he can’t win,” Arttu added with a wide smile. “I believe in my brother.” “Let’s bet?” Tiina proposed. “It’s insane,” Sanna replied. “It’s for fun,” the singer insisted. “Okay. But it’s our little secret.”

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Janne came back from the kitchen with a tray and refused the help his sister was proposing. “So here it’s a refreshing tomato gazpacho and here it’s some guacamole and I bring the chips in a second,” he said before to get up and come back with another tray. “It’s corn chips. I hope that you like it. I admit that I bought them. And to drink with that it’s a coconut cocktail made of coconut liqueur, rum, passion fruit syrup, sugar syrup and strawberry syrup. I never did it before. I hope that it’s drinkable. Otherwise I’ve a bottle of white wine in the fridge,” he explained, not sure of his skills. He hoped that he impressed his opponent. The strawberry syrup was at the bottom and was colouring the glass. Over there was the white mix. “Kippis!” Arttu said while he took a glass and everybody did the same. “I like your drink. It’s really refreshing,” Tiina said and the others agreed. “Did you put more rum in my glass?” Arttu said suspiciously. “No, I did the mix in my shaker and I poured it in each glass. Why? Yours is too heavy?” Havu asked a bit stressed. But Arttu tasted the glass of Tiina and noted that his friend didn’t cheat. “No, that’s fine. I’m not a fan for strong alcohol. But the mix is nice. What should we try first? Gazpacho or guacamole?” the lawyer asked and Janne suggested the gazpacho that was quite fresh. “It’s almost as good as in Spain,” Tiina congratulated and the cheeks of Havu became reddish. He was happy. Until then everything was fine. The guacamole was also a success but the guests said that it was maybe a bit too much before a meal and it was not as special as the drink and the gazpacho. Tiina confessed that she was almost full. Janne was a bit surprised but noted her remark. He thought that she was maybe in diet. He hated that so much. So many bad memories about it.

The guests left the sofa and sat around the table in the living room. There was a white tablecloth perfectly ironed. The plates, knives, forks and glasses were perfectly aligned. Havu came with two smaller plates for the starter. He served first the guests and then his sister and him. “So, it’s a spinach and smoked salmon savoury and green salad with raspberry vinaigrette. I hope it’s good,” Janne said, unsure. “You should say: enjoy. Not: I hope it’s good. Be a bit more confident,” Arttu advised. The savouries were crispy and warm. They came straight from the oven to the plate. Arttu was analyzing the taste and had to admit that Janne did really well. For the main course Janne prepared some mashed potatoes with a beef stew. That meal requested a lot of effort from the cook. So many vegetables to peel and cut and he spent a lot of time to make the potatoes himself. But the whole meal was a classic. Arttu was a bit disappointed. The appetizer was original, the starter was still not that common but the meal was too classical. The girls couldn’t finish their plates. The mashed potatoes were too heavy. Havu realized that he put too much cream.

He went back to the kitchen with the dirty plates and waited for the dessert. He hoped that Katrina saw his SMS and would come on time. While he took dessert plates in the cupboard he heard someone knocking at his window. He smiled and opened. “Thank you so much. You are my saviour. I don’t know what I did wrong. It was in the oven fifty minutes like you told me.” “Not fifty. Fifteen. Enjoy,” she said before to disappear. He couldn’t believe that he made such a stupid mistake. But he didn’t have time to think of it. He cut the pie with small slices. He knew that his guests were quite full. He took a bowl in the fridge and poured a bit of vanilla sauce next to the slice and added a strawberry to have a bit of colour.

“It’s delicious!” Tiina congratulated. “It tastes like the pie we ate at Katrina’s place last week,” Sanna noted. “It’s her recipe but I did the pie myself,” he lied. “I’ve to admit that I’m impressed. I never thought that you would be able to cook a whole meal,” Arttu said after the last bite. “I did my best and I didn’t want to let you win too easily.” “For me the challenge is a success. Did you cheat?” Arttu asked. “I called Katrina for an advice. But I did everything myself,” Janne replied. “Let’s see next Saturday who will be the winner. You’re a tough challenger,” the lawyer admitted.

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The following Saturday Arttu was very active in his kitchen. He was methodical and organized. But he didn’t realize that his kitchen was not as big as expected. His table was full of ingredients, bowls, plates, spices and so on. He was always checking what was on the stove and trying to wash some dished. His sink was full. At 5 o’clock he left the kitchen and set the table. He took the drawing he did few days ago and followed it as close as possible. He remembered how Havu aligned everything. He couldn’t be messy. It had to be perfect. But he was not satisfied. He moved the napkins, then the glassed one centimetre on the right. He looked at his table for a little while. It was not bad. But suddenly he saw that it was half past five! He jumped to the kitchen that looked like a battle field. He was happy to don’t have an open kitchen like in many houses. His guests would be scared. Fifteen minutes before the deadline he ran to the top floor, took a shower and wore the clothes he prepared on his bed. “It will be okay. You are the best,” he said in front of the mirror.

Janne rang at the door a little bit late. Someone in the street had many guests and he couldn’t find a parking lot closer. It was ten past six when he entered with Sanna. Arttu welcomed them with a wide smile. He was doing his best to hide his stress. “Please, follow me to the living room,” he said once their coats were in the wardrobe. But when he saw the table, Arttu was in panic. “Pillow! Where are you? Come here immediately!” his owner requested, really unhappy. The dog let some slaver on the table as souvenir. When Arttu saw that the animal was hiding under the dinner table he caught its collar and drove it to the guest room. He closed the door and promised to clean. Less than three minutes later the table looked like when he set it up. “I’m sorry for the incident,” he apologized. “Minus two points,” Janne said with a wide smile.

Tiina joined them just before Arttu brought the appetizers to the table. “So here we have a zucchini cold soup with mint, goat cheese and olive oil. The second appetizer is an avocado panna cotta with raspberry compote. It’s a very fine sweet and salty mix. And to drink with that is a kir royal: champagne and blackcurrant liqueur. Enjoy,” Arttu told with a smile. The guests were impressed. It was so fine, subtle, light and good that they had no words. The lawyer was happy. It was a success. “I want your recipes,” Sanna asked. “I can give them to you later or another day. But you are also welcome to come and eat here,” he replied. “If I’ve to grade your appetizer on a scale from one to ten I’ll give you a nine,” Janne said. “Nine? Is there something you don’t like? What can I improve?” the lawyer asked a bit surprised and nervous. “Next time sieve the raspberries. I’ve the feeling to have the seeds between my teeth,” the inspector complained. “Okay, I’ll write it in my cook book.”

The guests had a bit of time to observe the table. The tablecloth was dark blue and it was contrasting with the white plates. In the middle of the table there was a fishing boat. The women were laughing. “I guess that we will eat fish,” Janne noted. “As a starter you will have a shrimp and coco soup with vegetable broth, curry, lemon, garlic, ginger and soy sauce.” The soup wasn’t in normal soup plate. It was served in casserole with a cover. When they opened, the nice smelled went directly to their nose. “When do you open your restaurant?” Havu asked and the lawyer laughed. “I just cook for my friends. And I’ve no time to have my own restaurant.” “I’m so bad at cooking compared to you,” Janne said while he finished his soup. “Don’t worry. I was really bad at the beginning. I wanted to date and I thought that women love when men are able to cook. Because I noted that many girls don’t want to be housewives and be the slaves of the men. I totally understand it. We are not anymore in the fifties. And I discovered during the cooking classes that I love it. And I met Tiina there. We are progressing together,” Arttu said while he put his hand over the hand of Tiina who smiled. “You are right. And you know. I think that I didn’t like cooking because I didn’t know how to do it well. But now I enjoy,” Janne told. “Last Saturday I was amazed. You changed from the guy who was lazy and just warmed a frozen pizza to a guy who was able to make a menu from appetizer to dessert,” Sanna said to his brother who smiled.

For the main course they ate grilled sea bass in a spicy paprika sauce served with sweet potatoes and asparagus. Again it was delicious. Janne admitted that he couldn’t win. Arttu was playing in a different category. To conclude the menu Arttu served a strawberry tiramisu with basilica cream. “I’m dead. You scored 95 points out of 100. I’ve maybe 70 points,” Janne said at the end of the dinner. “I’m proud of you. I was sure that you would cook something bad or you would cheat. But no. Your meal was simpler but everything was good. Next time you invite me to eat I won’t be scared. I know that you are able to cook well. Keep going and these courses are really good. I’ve something for you,” Arttu said while he got up and came back with a cooking cook. “It’s for you. The recipes are simple to do and you can really impress a woman. Look, it worked with Tiina,” Arttu confessed and they laughed.

“Arttu I’m very sorry for what happened these last years. You are a wonderful person and I haven’t been honest with you. I hope that now we can be friends like before and that you will forgive me.” “I forgive you. But don’t do it again.” “I promise,” Janne said before to leave the house.

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20. It’s complicated

May 17th

Maria Happonen was still living in the little house on the property of Janne Ahonen. She was supposed to move back to her green wooden house in Käpylä but her ex-husband wasn’t really motivated to find another place to live. She was cleaning the garden after the thawing of the snow. Her neighbour was back from Gran Canarias since two weeks. He refused that they celebrate his birthday and he stayed distant. Something changed. She didn’t know what and she felt uncomfortable. She asked if it was better for her to look for a flat but he said that she didn’t need and she could stay as long as she wanted. She knew that he was dating a woman since a couple of months. Maybe longer but she never saw her. Why was he so secret? Did this woman really exist?

When she was done, she cleaned her hand and rang at the main house. He opened almost immediately. ”Hi Janne. I’m alone tonight. Ana is with Havu. Do you want to join me for dinner?” she proposed. He looked at the garden, a bit lost. He was probably looking for a pleasant way to decline the offer. She knew it. ”I’m a bit tired,” he said in a low voice, the head down. He was wearing a grey hoodie with orange strings and a blue jean. His hair was again too long and too blond. He looked like a girl. ”Take a nap. Dinner will be ready at six. I count on you,” she said with a smile before to leave.

In the afternoon she cleaned her living room and had often a look outside. She wanted to make sure that he would not leave. The night arrived around five and she could see some light in the other house. The dinner was almost ready a little bit before six. She was still waiting, nervous. She prepared something from her country but not too spicy, not heavy or fat. She knew that he had some troubles with some ingredients. Fifteen minutes after six she saw that the light went off on the other side of the garden. A shadow closed the door and walked in the direction of the little house. She waited bedind the door. He rang, she smiled and opened. ”Welcome home,” she said with a wide smile. ”Thank for inviting. Here is a bottle of wine for you,” he told while he gave the gift. She saw that it came from France and it seemed to be a very good wine.

The dinner table was round and small. Only four chairs could be around it. The tablecloth was white and red with squares. In the middle of the table there was a vase in glass with a yellow tulip. He sat in silence and looked at her. ”You are very quiet,” she noted while she was preparing the plates. ”I told you. I’m a bit tired. And I’ve nothing special to say.” ”Are all the Finns the same? I mean that you always think that you are not interesting, have nothing to tell?” she asked. ”I don’t know all Finns but maybe it’s partly right,” he answered. She had the feeling that she would do the conversation the whole evening. She was thinking on the way of talking and asking questions. She remembered that once her ex-husband was in the same mood and had the feeling to be a suspect. She was asking too many questions. She decided to start the conversation by talking about what Ana did at school. He was listening and sometimes saying: nice, well, good and okay. No full sentenses.

”What have you done this week?” she asked at the end of the meal. ”Just remote work. I was in the computer room managing the bars and the production teams. It was quite boring.” ”Why didn’t you ring at my door to have a cup of coffee?” ”Maybe because you are talking too much and I’ve nothing to say,” he replied. ”I can talk less. You just have to talk more. Have you been to town recently?” ”Last week. I visited an art gallery. A friend of mine is showing his paintings.” ”You should show yours as well.” ”They are not good,” he told, playing with his napkin. ”It’s not my opinion. I like your paintings. They are showing your feelings, your sensibility and I love it. You must be more self-confident,” she advised. ”I can give you some frames. But I will never show them. I don’t want anymore to be a public figure. Everytime I tell my name people ask me if I’m the jumper. It’s annoying. I’d like to be like the others. Just a random guy in the street,” he confessed with a bit of sadness in the voice. ”You can’t erase the guy that you were some years ago. But don’t stop enjoying your life because of others. Where is your girlfriend?” she asked. ”Busy.” ”Can I meet her?” ”I don’t think it’s a good idea,” he said. ”Why?” she insisted. ”It’s complicated.” ”What is complicated?” Maria was determined to don’t give up. She felt that something was wrong with this mysterious girl. ”Is it because of me that you don’t dare to bring her here?” ”I will go home now,” he said while he got up. ”I’m not here to judge you. You can have who you want to share your life. I just don’t like to see you so cold. Where is my friend? The one that helped me when I had problems with Havu?” ”You are worrying too much. I’m still the same.” ”I don’t care if you date an old lady, a princess, a witch or a man,” she told and he smiled. ”You have a wide imagination. I’ll tell you when I’ll be ready and confident enough to face Havu’s reaction.” ”Havu? What did he have to do with your girlfriend?” ”It’s a long story. Thanks for the food. Good night.”

”Havu, who is that girl?” Maria asked when she was at his place to drive Ana back to the little house. ”What are you talking about? I’m not dating,” her ex-husband asked totally lost. ”The girl that is dating... one of your friends,” she specified. ”Finland is not good for you. You say that I drink too much but you too as I can see.” ”Don’t make fun of the situation,” she added seriously. ”So tell me. Explain,” he requested with the arms crossed. ”Forget about it. See you next week,” she said and Ana kissed her father before to leave the house. ”Women are weird...” Janne said to the closed door.

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21. We’re a family

June 20th

It was a beautiful Saturday and Janne Happonen asked Nina if she wanted to join him for a picnic in Seurasaari. She loved the idea and Saara was also enthusiastic about it. She loved to feed the squirrels in her hand. In the early morning he went to the shop and bought all what was needed. At half past ten he drove in the direction of Laajalahti. The road was quite narrow and in clay. The houses were not too close of each other like in Käpylä. The difference was that to live in Laajalahti you had to have a good income. Janne couldn’t drive further. They were three police cars blocking the road. He turned off the engine and walked. “What’s going on?” he asked to a policeman that was near a car. “We don’t know yet. My colleagues are investigating. And you can’t continue,” the skinny young policeman answered. Janne had a quick look at him and he supposed that he was new. All the others had extra kilos because they didn’t have time to cook and most of them had bad habits such as eating almost every day in the fast foods. His answer didn’t sound professional either. Janne took his badge in his pocket and showed it to his colleague. “Tell me more,” the inspector requested. “Oh I’m sorry inspector Happonen. I didn’t know that you were an inspector. Well we got a call from the neighbours. Apparently some crazy guys entered in the house of Ms Olli. The house is empty but we are looking for evidences. And there is blood,” he told. “I go to have a look. They might need another point of view. And I know the house,” Janne answered.

He checked first the door. It wasn’t broken. It meant that they knocked and she opened. Why did she open to strangers? She was someone very careful. It was probably because she thought that it was him. “Good morning. I’m the inspector Happonen,” he said when he entered, showing his badge. “What do we have?” he asked. “I’m Kivistö. According to the neighbours a minibus came with three guys. They entered and she screamed. The wife of the neighbour was gardening and she called us immediately. Unfortunately when we arrived, the house was empty. In the kitchen there is a basket with a cover and plastic dishes,” Kivistö told. “Yes, we were supposed to have a picnic together. What else do we know?” Janne asked. “The guys probably tried to catch her in the living room. Some items that were on the shelf are broken and the armchair is not aligned with the table. Regarding to the blood drops I’d say that someone got injured by a knife. And apparently nothing has been stolen. Her bag with her wallet is in the entrance,” Salonen, the smallest policeman, answered. “Have you seen a four years old girl?” Havu asked. “No... Hey guys! Look for this girl,” he said to the other policemen, showing a picture of Saara from a frame on the shelf.

Janne knew that Nina taught Saara how to be invisible. If the girl was in the house, she would not show up. He went to her bedroom and checked under the bed and in the wardrobe. Nobody. “Saara? It’s Havu. Don’t be afraid. You can get out of your hiding place,” he said in a calm voice. He waited and listened. The only sounds he heard were the voices of the other policemen. He sat on the bed and hoped that nothing bad happened to them. He felt guilty because if he came at ten like he promised they would be probably with him on the way to the island. He shook his head and tried to get rid of his guilt and to think. If he was Nina, where would he say to Saara to hide? He looked at the ceiling, then to his feet. Suddenly it was clear. There was only one possibility. He got up, went downstairs and opened the door of the basement. When he was in front of the door of the laboratory he entered the code he still remembered. He hoped that Nina didn’t change it. Luckily not. The door opened and he turned on the light. “Saara? It’s Havu. Where are you? It’s safe now,” he said, looking around. Suddenly he saw the door of a cupboard moving. The little girl exited walking on all fours and ran in the arms of Havu who comforted. “Where is Mom?” she asked with her sweet voice. “I don’t know. The policemen are looking for her. They will tell us when they will find her. Are you hungry?” he asked calmly. “A bit.”

He closed the door of the laboratory and climbed the stairs with Saara in his arms. He was keeping her face in his shoulder. He wanted to avoid that she saw the living room. “It’s nice that you find her. Let’s ask some questions,” Salonen said. “Can you leave us alone in the kitchen?” Havu asked in a low voice and the policeman apologized. They ate a sandwich in silence. The sun was shining outside and the birds were singing in the bushes. “When will Mom go home?” “I don’t know. You will stay with me until she comes back. Tell me Saara. Was she angry that I was late?” “No, not really. We were a bit late too,” she said. “Do you remember when she opened the door? Did someone ring?” Havu asked. “Yes, someone rang. Just once. She said: “Havu is here” and she opened the door. I was near the sofa. She seemed to be stressed. She didn’t know them and told them to go away but they pushed her and entered. Then... then she told me to hide. I just ran downstairs and hid how she told me to do. I was scared. I cried. She was not coming back saying that it was okay. When I heard your voice I knew that it was safe,” she told with tears and Havu took a tissue. “You were very courageous. To hide was the best. I’m proud of you,” Janne said and kissed her hair. “Do you remember how the guys looked like?” he asked and she shook her head. “How many were they?” “Three. The one who talked to Mom was wearing a military trouser,” she told. “Close your eyes now and think of this military trouser. Raise your head. Can you see his face?” Havu asked very calmly. He knew that this method was quite efficient. “His hair was black and straight to his shoulders. He looked dirty. He didn’t shave. Havu... I can’t remember,” the little girl admitted with tears in her eyes while she opened her eyes. “It’s okay. You did your best. Let’s go to your room and choose what you want to take with you,” he proposed.

Janne asked for few days off. His boss didn’t refuse because he was cumulating the over hours like crazy. He stayed only with Saara and tried to help her to don’t think too much to her mother. They went to feed the squirrels in Seurasaari, to have fun in the amusement park Linnanmäki and to the zoo in Korkeasaari. “What will happen if Mom never comes back?” the little girl asked when they were sat on a bench, eating an ice cream. “She will come back.” “But if not?” she insisted. Havu breathed deeply and thought a bit before to talk. “Well... You will live with your godfather or your godmother.” “Who are they?” the blond girl asked. “I don’t know. But I will figure it out.” “Can I stay with you?” “I don’t know. It’s not me who will decide. It’s a judge. But I promise to always be there for you,” Havu told. “Who is my father?” “Nina didn’t tell you?” Janne asked, half surprised and the girl nodded. “We can look for him.” “How?” she insisted. “With a DNA test,” Janne said while he looked at two sea gulls fighting for a piece of bread.

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Three days later Janne got a phone call. Saara was looking at him. He tried to be neutral, but she understood that something was wrong. She was still fixing him, waiting for an explanation. He sat on the sofa and she did it too. “How should I say it...” he murmured, looking at the window. “Did they find her?” she asked, scared. “Yes...” he replied with the head down. He took the little girl in his arms and hugged. She understood and cried. She knew that her mother would never come back. Janne couldn’t retain his tears. Some ran silently on his cheeks. He didn’t want to show his pain. “I’m so sorry...” he whispered. The sorrow of Saara was so huge that Janne was scared that she suffocated. Her face was red and wet. He spent long minutes to comfort, but he didn’t know what to do. He wished Maria was there.

“And now? What will happen? Will I be in an orphanage?” Saara asked an hour later when her tears stopped running. “We will look for your father. If we can’t find him, I will ask if I can be your legal tutor. I don’t want you to be in an unknown family,” Havu explained when they were in the kitchen, drinking a glass of milk.

The next day Janne went to the police station while his sister was with Saara at home. He wanted to have more details on the case. He also didn’t want to call, and that Saara could hear something. She was clever and quite in advance for her age, but they were things that she couldn’t understand and could be shocking. “Tell me everything,” Janne requested while he sat in front of Salonen. He pushed the papers on his desk and opened the file like if he needed it to remember. “We found her in a clearing around forests. A berry picker saw her and called us. She was already dead when we arrived. I’m sorry.” “I want more,” Janne insisted. “She was tortured. Probably for a couple of days. Then she has been crucified.” Janne closed his eyes for three seconds. He couldn’t believe it. It was so cruel. Some humans were really not humans. “What else?” he asked. “It was written devil and witch on her stomach. It was probably done with a knife.” “Any suspects?” Happonen asked. “Yes, a group of religious fanatics. We arrested three of them. One is currently in an interview with Kaunen.” After these words, Havu got up and walked quickly in the direction of the room. He opened the door without knocking. “Mother fucker!” he screamed to the long greasy hair man. He grabbed his neck and pined the man against the wall. “Happonen, stop it!” Tapio Kaunen requested, but the former jumper didn’t listen and hit the man with his fist. He couldn’t continue because Tapio and Salonen prevented him to continue. They pushed him out of the room. “Calm down!” Salonen requested. “This guy is a monster! He killed an innocent mother!” The supervisor of all the inspectors of Helsinki went out of his office when he heard the scene. “Happonen! To my office immediately!” Jalonen said seriously.

Janne entered with the head down and closed the door. He knew that he would not spend nice minutes. He sat in the uncomfortable chair in front of his boss. Jalonen opened his drawer and took a cigar he lighted. Janne crossed his arms. “I know that you are right. But you can’t behave that way. You have to be professional here,” the supervisor said calmly. “I’m sorry. I blew a fuse.” Janne was expecting for a bad comment but not that his boss proposed a glass of whisky that he accepted. “I know that it’s hard for you. But it’s hard for all of us. You should just take it easy. These guys will pay. But don’t have revenge. This would be stupid. I can give you more free days. I’m worried for you. I don’t want to lose one of my best elements,” Jalonen said, his cigar in his hand. “I’m thinking of quitting my job. I’m not able to control my impulsive behaviour. Maybe I should start a new career,” Havu confessed. “You need a long break. Take two weeks. And please, don’t come here to aggress the suspects,” Jalonen told. Havu stayed quiet, finished slowly his glass and left. He crossed the road and sat on the bench of the little park where he was used to go during his lunch break. Suddenly he cried. For Nina but also for him. He was lost, sad and didn’t know what to do of his life. How was it possible at the age of forty six?

Two days later in the morning Janne, Sanna and Saara when to the health centre and Havu explained that he needed a DNA test to know who the father of Saara was. The little girl was scared. The doctor, who was a woman, was very calm and nice. She explained that she didn’t have to worry. It would hurt a little bit, but it would be fast. Havu was holding her right hand, and he told to grip as strongly as she could and to look always at him. “And it’s already done. You are a courageous girl,” the doctor said with a wide smile. Janne kissed her hand. “Now let’s go to the café and have nice bakeries,” Sanna said with a motherly smile.

Janne went outside of the room with the doctor. He asked about the procedure, and how long it would take to have the results. “We will have to compare with the whole database. It will take a lot of time,” she said. “Maybe I can help you. Can you take my blood? I might be the father.” “Sure,” she said and invited him to go to another room. “Can you also check if I’m alright?” he asked while she was taking his blood. “Sure. You will have the results quicker than what I told you. Maybe in few weeks.” “Do you have in your database DNA of all Finns?” he asked. “From all the people that had a blood test in the last ten years,” she told. “May I ask you to compare my sample first and then with Harri Olli and Matti Hautamäki with Saara,” he requested, and she wrote the names. “I’ll contact you when I’ve the results,” she promised, and he left the room.

“Matti, Nina is dead. Now I will be your tutor,” Janne announced straight when he opened the door. “Is it a joke?” “No, it’s true. But don’t jump of joy yet. You won’t leave this island,” Havu replied. Matti was pale, touched the sofa like if he couldn’t see it and sat. He was under shock. Nina was maybe his owner, but she was his friend. She did so much for him. “Leave me alone,” he said with a lump in the throat and Janne went outside. He sat on the bench and looked at the lake that was dark. The sun set half an hour ago, and the horizon was dark orange and purple. The sky was dark blue and black, full of stars. It was a bit chilled but not cold. A fish went to the surface and broke the quietness of the lake. He decided that it was time to go back to the house to have a cup of coffee.

“You should kill me. I’m useless for you,” Matti said. His nose and his eyes were reddish. “I won’t. I don’t kill my friends,” he answered while he turned on the coffee machine. “What will happen for me?” he asked. “Well... I don’t know yet. First you will stay here until you accept the death. I don’t take the risk to bring you now to town. I know that you will do something bad.” “I promise to be a good guy,” Matti said while he sniffed. “I know you too well. You will wait that I tell you more about the case and when you will know who killed her; you will have revenge. What will you write on the wall? Your name or Nina’s’?” Havu asked while he brought a cup to his friend who was still sat on the sofa.

More than three weeks later Janne was sat on a chair and was looking at Saara playing with her doll. She was in the garden with Ana. “You look serious. Is everything okay?” Sanna said when she sat next to her brother with a glass of apple juice. “Nina was a real genius,” he said, looking at the girls. “What do you mean? Do you have the results of the DNA test?” his sister asked. “She created Saara to be perfect. It’s probably why she is so clever. She has the genes of Nina: clever, quick learning abilities, curious about strange phenomenon... She is also interested to what nobody else is interested in. Why are the ants living in a hierarchical system? She is able to do additions, multiplications and divisions. Not many kids of five years old can do it. But she is also impulsive and doesn’t like to don’t find the solution. She is able to throw her books on the floor. This is Harri. When she wants something like a candy, and I say no, she is able to make me change opinion just by looking at me. It’s a kind of seduction game. And I don’t know why, I can’t refuse. When she is doing something bad, I can’t get mad. She is also a convincing liar when she aims to get something. She is also sociable and talkative. This is Matti. She is in good physical shape. She thinks in a methodical way. How to solve this problem when I know this and that? She is an excellent listener. When I was down she sat next to me and asked what was wrong. She listened, analyzed and then proposed a solution. This is me,” he told. “But what do you mean?” Sanna insisted. “That she has one mother and three fathers.” “What? But how is that possible? How can you be her father?” she asked, totally lost. “Nina collected our DNA I don’t know how and she created Saara in a test-tube,” he answered, and she was stunned. “Nina was insane and Machiavellian, Harri was crazy and gay, Matti was a liar and a drug addict, and you are stubborn and was almost an alcoholic. She is not perfect. You must have an eye on her,” Sanna advised after have listed their defaults and her brother accepted the truth. “Does she know it?” “No, I just said that I was her father. I don’t want that she believes that she is a monster,” Havu replied.

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22. Tears of joy and sorrow

July 4th

Veli-Matti Lindström was driving his boys to the country side to their summer cottage. It was an isolated place and it was good to be far from the excitement of the city and without Internet connection. The oldest boys were too addicted to their phones, consoles or computers. Katrina was not feeling well and said that she would stay at home. She rested for an hour on the sofa. It was weird to don’t hear a single sound. She got up and drove her car to the highway. She knew that it was bad to go there but she felt the need. Something changed in her since a while and was like pushing her.

When she entered in the house, it was dark and the door of the bedroom was closed. It was too early. The sun was still shining outside. She took her basket and made a pie with blueberries. After only ten minutes it smelt good in the whole house. When she took the pie out, she heard the sound of a door opening. “Katrina? What are you doing here?” Matti said still sleepy. “I’m here to spend some hours with you and I made a pie with the berries I collected in Nuuksio yesterday,” she answered. Matti looked at the newspaper pages that were covering the windows. “It’s still so bright... I hate summer,” he told. “Summer is wonderful. You should go outside. You are so pale. You need sun.” “I can’t and you know it. I will be blind outside,” he said in a low voice. He was remembering with nostalgia how much he loved summer in his previous life. It was so great to lay down in the grass, to swim in a warm lake, to eat an ice cream or have a barbecue with friends. “We will go outside. You just have to trust me. Close your eyes,” Katrina said while she covered his eyes with a blindfold. She took his hand and they crossed the living room. “I will open the door. If the light is still too bright, tell me and we go back inside. I will tell you if there is a stone or a hole. Are you ready?” she asked with her hand on the handle and he accepted, a bit stressed.

For the first steps Katrina was holding him because of the stairs. They were not many but they were not regular and it was easy to lose the balance. They walked slowly on the path to the shore. He noted immediately that the light was brighter. The trees were not protecting anymore. He also felt how warm the sun was. He had the feeling that it was caressing his cheeks. They sat on the wooden boarding that was quite warm. Katrina took the shoes off and they had their feet in the water. “Isn’t it nice to be outside in the sun?” she asked with a smile. “Yes, it is. Thanks. I just hope that I won’t burn.” “Stay here and don’t move. I come back in a second,” she said while she got up. She walked fast on the boarding that was moving at each of her steps. Her wet feet were letting print foots that dried almost immediately. Matti was swinging his feet in the water. It was not too cold and not too warm. He heard that some birds were flying nearby. Probably seagulls. An insect was also flying around him. It wasn’t a mosquito. The sound was louder. He guessed that it was a dragonfly. “I’m back,” Katrina said while she sat. She opened the tube of sun lotion and spread it on his arms that were as white as snow. “Why are you so nice with me?” he asked. “I like you and I know that it’s not funny for you to live on that island alone. You should be in town and live your own life. I don’t get why Havu don’t let you go. I’ve the feeling that he is like Nina,” she explained, still spreading the lotion. “Do you love me?” She took off her hands and didn’t know what to answer. She wasn’t sure about her feelings. Of course she should have answered negatively but it was not true. She also couldn’t admit that it was more than friendship. “You know I thought a lot about the day when you came to my bed. Was it just a game to make Vellu jealous or did you do it because you feel something for me?” he insisted and there was a long silence. “I know what you feel. You are thinking that you might love me but you can’t accept it because you are married with six kids. Honestly I don’t know what I would have said if I were you,” he told with a smile of compassion. “I thought that Vellu was the love of my life and that I would never feel love with another man. But these last years, love went away little by little. I saw how Tiia was desperate to find a new boyfriend and I said to myself: “Stay with Vellu. For the best and the worst. To be alone is the most horrible thing that can happen to you”. But then I met you after the accident and you opened your heart during our night conversations. And you listened to me without judging. You comforted when I needed it. When I left the island with Havu I was confused. Something happened between us,” she said while she put her head on his shoulder and he took her hand. “I’m sorry if you are so confused. I hope that I won’t destroy your marriage,” he said, a bit worried. “No, don’t worry. When I discovered that my husband was cheating I was like dead. I couldn’t believe it. I was so desperate. But I couldn’t cry in front of my kids. That was very difficult. Tiia told me to sleep with someone to show to Vellu how painful it was to be betrayed. She proposed Havu but I just took my car and went here,” she told. “What did you feel? Were you happy or sad after we did it?” “First I came to make Vellu jealous. But when I was with you I didn’t think of him at all. It was... wonderful. Really, it was great. On the way back I was confused. I knew that Vellu would be jealous but I didn’t know what it meant for me. I was crying in the car. It’s was tears of sorrow but also tears of joy. I couldn’t sleep that night. I was thinking of you,” she said looking at the lake. With his hand he touched gently her cheek and came closer. He kissed softly her lips. “It’s a bit too hot here. Can you help me to go back inside?” he asked and she accepted with pleasure.

Once they were inside he took off the blindfold and he needed few seconds to get used of the light. “Did you talk about my visits to Havu?” “No. Why?” “Do you promise to keep everything secret?” she asked. “You know that I’ve no problems to keep a secret.” “Thank you,” she murmured while she ran to him and kissed wildly. He walked two steps back and hit the shelf where two books fell. But they didn’t care. They took off their clothes on the way to the bedroom. Even if there was nobody else Katrina closed the door with her foot.

“I didn’t know that you were...” “Active in the bed,” Katrina finished his sentence while she was preparing some sandwiches in the kitchen. Her hair was wet and she had a white towel around her breast. “Vellu doesn’t know how to appreciate what he has. When we were talking about our sex life he just said that it was okay with you,” Matti confessed from the bench. “My husband is talking about his sex life to his friends? Tell me that it’s a joke,” she asked, angry and sad. “Don’t worry. It’s just men discussions. Maybe he preferred to don’t tell how good you were to don’t tempt someone else. Like me for example. Or Rane.” “Janne knows. I’ve slept with him few years ago,” she admitted. “With Rane?” he asked, half laughing. He couldn’t believe it. “He was doing some work in the gardens of all the ladies in the neighbourhood. Many ladies were having sex with him and I was the only one who didn’t do it. I don’t know why I did it. I had no feelings for him.” “You just wanted to be like the other women. It’s not your fault. The idiot in this story is Janne. Why did he accept to sleep with these women?” Matti asked, perplex. “He was paid. But please keep it for you.” “What? How much did you give him?” Matti asked totally shocked. “Too much. Can we talk about something else?” she begged while she sat next to him with the sandwiches.

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“How is it on the other side?” she asked, curious. “Why do you want to know?” he replied. “Because you are the only one to know how it is and that everyone is wondering. How is life after death? How is it to die? And to come back to life?” she insisted. “I don’t think that it’s a good idea.” “Why?” “Because you will have to live with a very heavy secret. This will destroy your family,” he told, before to drink a sip of black coffee. “What do you think about sharing your secret with the whole world?” she proposed. “I don’t want to die like Nina. I prefer to drown in the lake.” She really wanted to know but she also understood why he didn’t want. “What about a book? You can tell me what you know and I write a book. I will only publish it when you decide. What do you think?” she suggested. “You won’t give up. Okay. But two conditions. First everything has to remain secret until you can publish the book. Vellu and Havu must never hear about it. And second, you will publish it after my death. And the next one will be definitive. Nina is not there anymore,” he told. “And if I die before you?” “You won’t.” “How do you know?” she asked, under shock. “I know when you will die. I also know for Havu. And I knew for Nina,” he answered. “Really? What did you tell her?” He breathed deeply, moved on the bench and looked for his words. “Well... she wanted to know and I was embarrassed. As you can imagine, she insisted. I had no choice and I didn’t want to lie. I told the truth and she prepared her death. She went to the notary public, prepared everything for Saara and for her discovery. The picnic with Havu was supposed to be their final meeting. She had to tell him a couple of things. About Saara, her discovery and me. What she didn’t know was that she would be kidnapped that day, two days before to die. She was not ready and she didn’t have time to talk with any of us. She wasn’t scared to die. She knew that she wouldn’t survive. And I’m sure that she challenged her aggressors. Nina was a tiger. She was always fighting. I’m proud of her,” he told with a tear of sorrow in his eye.

“Back to you. I won’t tell when you or Havu will die. Why? Because how will you live if I tell you that you will die tomorrow?” She thought about his words and she had to admit that he was right. She was already scared that he knew when she would die. “Can we postpone the death if you tell us when we will die?” “No one can postpone his death. When it’s your turn, it’s your turn. That’s destiny,” he confessed. “Do you know when you will die?” “No, but I don’t think that I will be old when I will go back to the other side.” “Why? And are you scared?” “I’m not scared. We should not be scared to die. It’s not that terrible. In my case I think that I will die violently. I’ve the feeling that someone will kill me. Maybe Havu or Vellu. Or maybe one of the crazy guys that killed Nina. Let’s wait and see,” he said before to finish his cup of coffee that was cold.

“Tell me about you death,” she asked quietly when they were on the sofa. He breathed deeply and stayed silent for few seconds. He was trying to remember. “I promised to Havu to wait that he came back from the wedding of Anssi to die but I was very sick. The previous night I coughed all the time. My lungs were making strange sounds. They couldn’t breathe normally. I also had fever. I was hot and I was cold. My girlfriend did her best to help me. I can still remember how sad she was. She did everything to don’t cry in front of me. She knew that it was just a matter of hours. There was nothing to do. I coughed the whole morning and I spitted some blood. My brother was so scared. I told him that I was okay. It was not true of course. Cassandra forced me to eat a bit of soup. But I coughed so much that I threw up. I remember that I cried. I knew that I won’t live more than a couple of more hours. I was so scared. And I felt bad for Havu. I was not able to keep my promise,” he told. “You were too sick. You couldn’t fight. I’m sure that he understood,” she comforted. She noted that he was stressed. He was playing nervously with his fingers. The tears were also coming but he erased them quickly with his sleeve. She took his hand to show that he was not alone and that he didn’t have to worry.

“My body was hurting. My throat was terribly hurting and my lungs were really making strange noises. I stopped fighting at the beginning of the afternoon. I had no more energy left. Then I felt that my body was slowing down. My heart beats were slower, my breathing rhythm was lower. My brother came to my room around four o’clock, and asked if I wanted something. I told him to play a song. I knew that it would be the last one I would hear. I closed my eyes and I was ready to leave. I saw the light. It was time for me. I sat and I saw that my body was still lay down. I waited for the end of the song and then I went to the other side. When my brother went back to the bed I was dead. That’s all. It’s not painful. You only follow the light and go on the other side like to open a door,” he told and she wrote down his words on a piece of paper. “What did you think when you noted that your body and your soul were not connected?” she asked. “I was happy. I have tears of joy in my eyes. It was the end of the suffering. For me, but also for Cassandra, Jussi and Havu. I knew that Havu would not be happy but I couldn’t wait. I was not strong enough. But then I felt so good. There was no way that I could come back to my body.”

“Then I was in a transition world. It was weird. They were other recently deceased people but as you can guess none of us knew why we were there. When it was my turn a voice told me that I would have to wait before to go in the definitive world of dead people. I wondered what I did. I asked if I had to be punished and to go to Hell. But no. I couldn’t go because someone from the other side was not letting me go. It was Havu. My mission was to go back to the world of living people and to look that he was alright and that he could let me go. I observed him for many months. I noted that when I touched him he was thrilling or touching himself at the same place. It was funny. But he couldn’t see or hear me. I didn’t get why I had to be by his side, just watching. I couldn’t help him. He was sometimes so sad. I felt bad for him. I came back for sometime in the transition zone. When it was my turn the voice told me that Havu still didn’t let me go. It told me that I would go back and talk to him. I said that I would prefer to do it with Cassandra but I couldn’t negotiate. I stayed mute a couple of weeks. How would Havu react? And one day I talked to him. First it was weird but then he was always talking to me. Maria was mad that he wasn’t listening to her,” he explained with a smile, looking at the table. “I will tell you more another day. It’s quite hard for me to think about it,” he told and she accepted.

_________________

23. Confessions

August 15th

Janne Happonen was not hungry since a couple of days. He ate a piece of bread and left the kitchen. His sister was with him and was worrying. Again he was working too much and he was tired. He also didn’t go to his cooking lessons since three weeks. “Janne, you can’t continue that way. I’m worried. I think that you are burnt out. You need a long break from work,” she told while he got up. “I’m fine. Just a bit tired.” She also got up and followed him to the living room. “Call your boss and say that you are not coming tomorrow. Please accept some help! I don’t recognize you. You are so depressed. I don’t want to lose you. Take my hand,” she said while he turned slowly. “Sanna...” “Take my hand and stop behaving like a child.” “Sanna, I feel bad,” he said in a low voice. He was sweating, his chest was hurting like hell, his left arm was cold and his fingers seemed to be frozen and he had some difficulties to breath. “Lay down on the sofa,” she said in a panic. She supported his arm and helped him to lay down. She took his hand and called the 112 with her other hand. “Stay calm. It will be alright,” she told with tears on her eyes. She saw that the nails and lips of his brother were becoming bluish. She knew that it meant that his heart was not getting enough oxygen. “If something happens to me... please take care of Saara,” he murmured. The pain was growing and it was harder and harder to fight. He was thinking that it was maybe time for him to leave that world. He wasn’t ready. He still had so much to do. He closed his eyes and the voice of his sister seemed to be so far than he couldn’t hear it. Everything was just darkness and silence.

Slowly he opened his eyes. His view was blurry but became little by little sharper. Apparently he was in a bed in a room with white walls. On the chair someone was reading a magazine. It wasn’t his sister. It was a man. Who spent hours to wait for him to wake up? “Hi Havu. Nice to see that you are awake,” the man on the chair said while he closed his magazine. “Arttu? What are you doing here?” he asked with a lump in his throat. He wanted to cough but his throat was too painful. “Your sister called me and told me what happened. You were lucky that she was with you. Now relax. Everything will be okay,” Arttu told. “What happened? Do you know?” “You had a heart attack. I don’t know more,” the lawyer explained. “Tomorrow I’ve to go to work. We have an important meeting.” “You won’t quit this bed. Havu, do you realize that you were that close to die?” he asked while he showed his fingers separated by less than a centimetre. “What did I do wrong?” the policeman asked. “You are living with too much stress. You don’t listen to your body that sent you many warning messages these last months. And your heart said that it was enough. Now close your eyes, breathe deeply and sleep. You need to rest. I stay here until your sister comes back. She went to the day care to pick up Saara,” Arttu explained and Janne did it. “I’m here because I’m your friend if you are wondering,” the lawyer said in a low voice while he opened again his magazine.

“How is he? Did he wake up?” Sanna said in a low voice to don’t disturb her big brother. “He woke up an hour ago. He seems to be okay. His mind is clear and his talking is normal,” Arttu told while he got up from the chair and let it to Sanna. “I’m going home now. Call me if you need anything.” “Thank you,” she replied with a shy smile.

Saara was near the bed and was looking at the left arm of her father. He had a slow perfusion. The plastic wires were fixed with adhesive. But she knew that he had needle in his vein. She was remembering Matti in the basement. What did it mean? That he was dead? But Nina wasn’t there to save him. She put her head on the mattress and touched his arm. A tear ran on her cheek. Havu was her last parent alive but he was going to the other side. She didn’t want to be alone. “Don’t leave me,” she murmured. Suddenly she saw that he opened slowly his eyes. A shy smile was appearing on her face. “Daddy!” she exclaimed with joy and almost jumped on his arm. “Ouch! Saara, stop it. It’s painful... I’m sorry sweetheart... I didn’t want to be bad with you,” he said when he realized that he scared her. He knew that she didn’t want to hurt him. “I’m so happy to see you. Come to the other side of the bed,” he said to the little girl. Sannagot up from the chair and helped her to sit on the mattress. “When I was resting I took a decision. I’ve to change many things in my life. I can’t sacrifice my family, my health and my life for the others or for work. I will listen to my body, to you and to my doctor. Nobody else,” he told and Sanna was proud of him.

“How do you feel, Mr Happonen?” his doctor asked when they were alone in the room. He was tall and skinny with a parrot nose. His hair was short and grey. He was wearing thick glasses. He was probably over sixty. “I don’t really know... I feel well but also tired,” he explained. “What about the pain?” “I still feel it a bit in my chest but not as much as at home. My left fingers are less mobile than the ones of the right hand,” he noted. “It’s probably because of the perfusion. Don’t worry about it. I need that you answer some questions to understand why this happened. Do you smoke?” the doctor asked. “Not really. Sometimes a cigar or a cigarette. Less than once a week I’d say,” Janne told. “Do you have cholesterol?” “I guess a bit like everybody. I haven’t checked it since... well... many years.” “We will check that later. And diabetes?” “Not as I know.” “Some heart problems previously and in your family?” he asked while he pushed back his glasses on his nose. “I don’t think so,” he answered, pretty unsure. He never talked about it with his relatives. Maybe someone was hiding a secret. “Are you sedentary? Inactive?” “I’m sedentary but I’m active. I’m a police inspector and my job is quite physical. Some criminals are running fast and are able to climb to roofs. I have to catch them. But once I’m at home I’m a couch-potato,” he admitted. “I see. Do you eat often greasy food?” “Before yes, but I try to eat health food at least once a day. When I’m working I have no time to eat a proper meal,” Havu explained. “How many cups of coffee do you drink per day?” the doctor asked. Janne looked at the ceiling and was counting, imagining him at work. “Between ten and twenty-five,” he said and the doctor looked surprised. “Coffee is good for health. But with small dose. It’s not recommended to drink more than seven cups a day. Your coffee consumption is one of the factors that drove you here. You should seriously reduce it. You will maybe not have a second chance to survive to a heart attack. Take this advice seriously. Are you stressed?” “Yes, I’m. Mainly because of my job. I’ve a lot to do and we are not enough. I never know when I will go back home or if my Sunday will be a resting or a working day,” Havu told. “You divorced quite recently. It’s also a source of stress. Anything else?” the old man asked. “One of my friends died few weeks ago and I discovered that her daughter was also mine. My married neighbour is in love with one of my friends. This friend is under my responsibility because he can’t live by himself. When I’m not watching him he is doing bad things. My daughter doesn’t understand why we divorced and she accuses me. I guess that it’s a normal reaction but it’s stressful for me. In general my life is complicated. If I would write a book about it, people will think that it’s pure fiction,” Janne said with an ironic smile.

Later in the afternoon Havu had the visit of his ex-wife. “Maria? What are you doing here?” “I’m visiting a friend that had an accident,” she said while she sat on the chair next to the bed. “Your sister called me and told me what happened. I was under shock and I cried. She had to repeat many times that you were alive.” “You shouldn’t worry that much for me. Ana needs you,” he told. “She needs you too,” she replied while she took his hand. Janne noted that she was sad. “I haven’t been a good friend. I haven’t answered your sms. I’m so sorry. How are you?” he asked, guilty. “Life is definitively not the same without you. We are living in the guest house next to Rane’s home. Ana misses you a lot,” Maria explained. “I miss her too. I will give you the house back as soon as I’ll find a flat. I promise.” “Take your time. There is no hurry. The most important is that you heal,” she said with her warm voice. “Are you dating Rane?” her ex asked before to cough. “No, I’m not dating him or any other guy. And you? Do you have a girlfriend?” “No... I’m alone.” “Do you think that we have a little chance to be together again now that Nina is dead?” she asked. “I don’t know. Matti is still alive and my life is too complicated at the moment. I won’t be a good lover. I tried to forget you and to move on but... I can’t stop thinking of you. I miss our happy years,” he told with nostalgia.

_________________

The door of the room opened and Rane joined them. Havu was surprised to see him. When was the last time he saw him? He couldn’t remember. “Back to cold Finland?” Happonen asked. “Yes, since a while. But summer is not that cold. How is my favourite idiot?” Rane asked with a smile. He hoped that his friend in his bed would appreciate his humour. “Well... I’m probably here because I’m an idiot. But I promise that it won’t happen again,” Havu replied. “I hope so! Don’t you remember that you are not alone and you have friends?” Rane reminded. “Friends... you all left me because of my... my secrets with Nina. You ran away and almost stole my wife,” Happonen almost accused. “What’s wrong with you? I didn’t steal your wife. She just needed someone to talk with and a place where to live. And I’ve always been your friend. I also have a complicated and busy life but if a friend is calling me I’m coming to help. I’ve never been mad at you,” Rane told.

Someone else knocked at the door and Havu was really wondering why so many people were visiting him. Especially because he hadn’t been very sociable the last months. It was his sister that entered with Arttu Lappi. “Hi dude. I wanted to bring you a good bottle of scotch but I will wait that you’ll be at home,” the lawyer said with a smile. Havu saw that his sister when close to Rane and he put his hand on her hip. When she saw that her brother frowned she thought that it was time to tell him the truth. “Janne, I think that it’s time to tell you that he is my boyfriend.” “What? Since when are you dating Rane?” Havu almost jumped. At that moment he was remembering the strange visit of her ex-wife about a girl he knew. “Stay clam. It doesn’t worth to die for that,” Rane reacted and Havu put his head back on the pillow. “Congratulations!” Arttu said with a wide smile. “I can’t believe it...” Havu murmured. “Aren’t they enough guys on this planet? Why did you choose that one?” he asked after a short minute of silence to Sanna. “I didn’t choose. It’s love. I wanted to wait for the best moment to tell it to you but it never came. I’m really happy and I’m sure that you are too for me. You will just need a bit of time to accept it,” Sanna said to his brother who was speechless. They were dating since more than a year and he never guessed it. How was it possible? Wasn’t he one of the best inspectors of the city?

Less than ten minutes later Veli-Matti Lindström, Ville Kantee, Tami Kiuru, Olli Muotka and Anssi Koivuranta entered the room. “But what are you all doing here? Don’t you have anything better to do?” Havu asked, perplexed. “Well... Arttu told us that one of our friends had a little problem and our help was requested,” Ville said while he leant to the end of the bed. “Do you remember Norway and your housewarming party?” Arttu said and Havu just moved his head. “We promised to be always there for our friends. In the best and worst moments. We failed with Matti and Harri. We won’t fail with you. You have to know that you are a member of that family. We are here to help you. Don’t stay alone and destroy your life how you did recently. Talk to us and we’ll do our best,” the lawyer explained and Havu almost had tears in his eyes. He thought that his friends were mad at him because of all the betrayals and lies he did. But he was wrong. They were still there. All of them. “How can I thank you?” “Slow down, take care of you and accept our help. We want you happy and healthy. Not depressed and sick in a hospital bed,” Arttu answered with a calm and comforting voice. “Or dead. We have been already to three funerals. It’s enough,” Ville added and they smiled. In a way he wasn’t wrong.

“Well...” Havu said while he moved a bit up in his bed. “I’ve to admit that I’m an idiot. I thought that I was alone and that you would never forgive me for what I did. I’m very sorry for that. I won’t be mad if you need time to totally forgive me. Especially you Tami that I didn’t help at all. But it was because I was under the influence of Nina. I had no choice. She threatened my family. I made a deal with the devil. It destroyed friendships and I also destroyed my family. Now that Nina is dead I’m alone. That was the price. But I’m very happy that you are all back. I promise to never betray you again. No more secrets,” he told. “What deal?” Olli asked a bit lost. “That’s a long story but to make it short I’d say that I knew that she raised someone from death.” “You knew it and never told about it? Harri died because of that!” Tami said very angry. “I’m sorry but she told me about it a couple of months after his death.” “That’s wrong. You knew it the day you decided to don’t help us to save Harri. You always had strange excuses. What do you think? Arttu and I knew that you knew her secret because you are someone loyal,” Tami specified. “You’re right... I’m a bad liar or my memory is really bad sometimes,” Havu admitted. “Why don’t you tell us who is Lauri?” After that question Havu was scared. He didn’t know if he had to tell the truth. “I’m a bit tired now. Don’t you mind to leave my room,” Janne requested in a shy voice. “Arttu and I know who he is. If your friends are more important than your secrets you should tell the others,” Tami insisted. Olli, Ville, Rane and Vellu were totally lost.

“Guys, you have to promise me to keep it secret. It’s for his own safety. The guys that killed Nina are looking for him. I hope that none of you have heart problems,” he said before to breathe deeply. There was a huge silence. Everybody was looking at him. Maria was holding his hand. She was waiting for that moment for too long. It was the last secret. “Lauri is... Matti,” he finally confessed. His friends couldn’t believe it. They couldn’t pronounce a single word. “Yep, that was the secret,” Havu added. “Are you serious? Do you mean that he is really alive?” Veli-Matti asked under shock. “That’s true. He is as alive as you and I,” Havu answered. “And he is in good shape. He broke into my house and blocked me on my bed. He threatened with a knife and I had no other choice than to obey,” Arttu told about his misadventure. “He almost killed me,” Tami added and the others were still mute. They couldn’t believe it. “He is sorry about it. It was the orders of Nina,” Janne replied from his bed. “I’d like to have personal apologizes,” Tami requested with the arms crossed. “Where is he?” Rane asked. “Far from here.” “Can we see him?” Ville asked. “I don’t think that it will be a good idea. But maybe one day.” “Who is in the grave?” Anssi asked and all the others were a bit pale. That story was more and more scary. “Apparently no one. Just some sand bags with the right weight. I hope that Nina didn’t lie about it,” Janne thrilled. “How does he look like? Is he greenish like the monster of Frankenstein?” Ville asked. “No, he looks like the Matti that most of you remember. He is just a bit older.” “Is he still sick?” Veli-Matti asked. “Not anymore. Nina found a treatment. Don’t ask me about it. I don’t know more,” Havu told. “Is he still a drug addict?” Ville asked. “No and he quitted one year and a half before to die. He is clean now. He doesn’t drink anymore too.” “What is he doing now?” Rane asked. “I don’t know. I guess that he is reading a book or listening to music.” “I mean, what is he doing of his life? Is he working?” he specified. “No, he is just at home. He can’t work or go out at the moment. People want to kill him,” Havu explained.

“Havu, he is also one of our friends and we don’t care of what he did to Arttu or Tami. Don’t be the only one to take care of him. He is part of the family. I think that he would be happy to have some company. And at the moment you can’t visit him. Where is he?” Rane insisted. Havu breathed deeply and looked at the while ceiling. “Don’t worry he is fine and not alone. Someone else is taking care of him,” he told. “Havu... don’t force me to be bad with you. My God! How is it possible to be so stubborn!” Rane noted. “I will tell you but please don’t go there. Not without me. He is still... scared,” Havu requested and hoped that his friends would understand. All the eyes were fixing him. “He is on the island of Nin... Harri,” he corrected. “How do you dare? Harri is dead because of Matti and he is now living on his island?” Tami jumped, losing his nerves. “Don’t be mad. It was the safest place. Please don’t go there to have revenge,” he begged. “He killed Harri. I will never forgive. Never.” “Tami, it wasn’t his fault. It was the choice of Nina to don’t tell what she was doing,” Havu justified and hoped that his friend would calm down. “You knew it and you didn’t tell him. He risked his life for that secret. Nobody here seems to understand. For all of you he was just a fool,” Tami told, disgusted. “Don’t you think that I feel bad about it? He was also my friend and I knew that if he didn’t stop his investigation the end would be tragic. Nina warned him. Many times. But he didn’t listen. It was his choice. But you are also guilty and I’m sure that he is haunting your nights. He was sick and you let him die,” Havu replied seriously, looking at him straight to the eyes. “I paid for this. I went to prison. Nina never paid. You never paid. Matti never paid.” “Please guys. Stop fighting. His death was tragic but he won’t come back. Let’s have a beer together. Well, sorry Havu but you can’t come,” Ville proposed with a smile.

Janne Happonen was looking at the ceiling. Finally he told his last secret. How did he feel? He thought that he would feel better and lighter. But it was the opposite. He was worried. His friends knew where Matti was and some might have bad intentions. Matti was in danger. “Is everything okay?” Maria asked while she touched his hair. “I’ve to save Matti. He has to leave the island. Tami will kill him.” “Calm down. I’m sure that he is just mad now but he won’t do it. Tami is a good guy,” she comforted. “Matti is a good guy too but he killed a couple of people. We are all able to kill. Especially when we are angry. Can you give me your phone?” he asked and she did it. He looked in the contact list and called a number. “It’s me. Go to the island immediately and hide him somewhere. He is not safe anymore. Your husband knows that he is alive but he doesn’t know that you know. Please go now before someone else reaches the island. Thank you,” he said before to hang up. “Who is your accomplice?” his ex-wife asked. “Katrina,” he said with a smile and she was incredulous. How Katrina the most curious and talkative person she knew could keep that mission secret? “I’m amazed every time you tell me a secret,” she admitted.

_________________

24. Ghost from the past

September 15th

Janne Happonen was still at home. He felt good but his doctor postponed his comeback to work. He didn’t need only to recover physically but also mentally. In the afternoon he went shopping and rested on the sofa for an hour. Then he went to the kitchen and opened the cooking book Arttu offered some months ago after their cooking challenge. Janne Ahonen arrived some minutes later with a bottle of wine. Together they set the table for dinner and chose the music to play. Of course they had a different opinion. But finally they made a compromise. While Havu was cooking dinner Rane was preparing his famous caramel flans. Everything was ready before six o’clock. “Good job mate,” Havu said and Rane smiled.

Surprisingly the first guest was Arttu Lappi. “I used my GPS!” he announced with a wide smile and the two Janne laughed. Ville Kantee arrived with Olli Muotka. Tami Kiuru came with a cookie box. Veli-Matti Lindström brought some vegetables from his garden and Anssi Koivuranta the new DVD of his tour. They were all sat on the sofa and Ville couldn’t resist to the pleasure to play with the guitar near the high-fi. “Do you have a band now?” Anssi asked to his former serviceman. “Not really. I play sometimes with friends in bars. Nothing serious,” Ville told. “Are you billionaire now?” Vellu asked Anssi, the superstar. “I’m not. Let’s say that I can’t complain. My last tour was a success. Currently I’m in studio to record my new album. The pressure is high. Everyone is waiting for a very good album. I hope that they will like it,” Anssi confessed. Ville gave the guitar to Anssi and asked if he could play one of his new songs. “I’m not supposed to do it outside the studio.” “We will not record and put it on Youtube,” Ville replied. Anssi smiled. His friend was right. He had no worries to have. He adjusted the strings of the instrument and played the first notes. He wasn’t exactly sure. He didn’t know the song by heart. He started again and his audience was carefully listening in silence. He sang the first part and then stopped. “I’m sorry guys. It’s new and I don’t know yet the lyrics by heart,” he apologized.

“I need your attention,” Havu said after have cleared his voice. “We noted that nobody was motivated to organize a ski jumpers meeting. It’s sad but I understand. It’s a lot of work. With Rane we decided to organize one in Finland just for us. I think that it’s important to meet at least once a year. Well I didn’t feel the need until my accident. I still have tears in my eyes when I remember your visit when you reminded me the values of our friendship. Maybe you saw that during the music demo I lighted candles a bit everywhere. It’s not to have a romantic evening,” he told and the other smiled. “One friend is missing. None of you seen him since seven years. Now it’s time.” He went to the main door, switched off the light and opened the door. Someone was walking next to Havu. The group of friends was trying to get used to the light. “Nice to see you guys,” he said with his deep voice.

First there was no reaction. “Is it really you?” Rane asked, perplexed. “Yes, it’s me,” Matti answered while he was coming closer. The light coming from the candles helped the friends to see his face. There was no doubt. Nobody else has a similar nose. He was like a ghost coming from the past. After a little hesitation Janne hugged his friend. “It’s so good to see you again. Welcome back!” Veli-Matti admitted that he couldn’t come closer. He didn’t feel comfortable when Matti admitted that he really came back from the other side. Ville and Olli had a similar reaction. Matti felt like a monster. He didn’t get why they were afraid. “It’s me. Matti. Why are you scared? I’m the same guy as before... without my defaults.” he told them. “Is it true that you wanted to kill Arttu and Tami?” Vellu asked, ignoring his question. “No. It was my mission but... I couldn’t do it. I’m sure that you want me to apologize. Yeah I’m sorry. I regret all what I did. I hope that you will forgive me,” he replied, looking at his friends that had the arms crossed. “Do it seriously,” Arttu requested. Matti came closer, kneeled and begged their pardon. It was a bit too much but they accepted his apologize.

“Everybody knows that you were a bad guy. How is hell? Did you meet Satan?” Veli-Matti asked during the dinner. “I haven’t had the honour to meet him. Maybe next time. Tell me Vellu. What happened to you in seven years?” Matti changed the conversation. “Not much. My company is three times bigger and I have two more kids.” “And you guys? And what are your plans for the future?” Matti asked. “At the end of the season I will apply to be head coach. It’s my career aim,” Olli confessed. “I hope to find a girlfriend. It’s hard to find the right person when you are famous. Otherwise I hope that my new album will be a success,” Anssi told. “I will be a lawyer until I’ll be retired. Otherwise I will just enjoy my life with Tiina and Suvi,” Arttu said. “Well at the moment I’m jobless. I’m writing applications to companies but it seems that I’m too old. Fuck,” Ville swore. “My plan is just to be happy. I don’t know yet how I will do it. One of the points is to solve my case at work with the Russian mafia. I can’t wait for the day where they will be all in jail. Then I will quit my job and I’ll buy a fishing boat. I will travel around the world and just enjoy the sea, the sun and the fishes,” Havu told and the other laughed. “I have no plans. I just do what I want to do whenever, wherever. I’m happy with my bars. Let’s see how my couple will go,” Rane said. “Take care of my sister. Otherwise, watch at your ass,” Havu threatened and the friends laughed. “What about you?” Arttu asked Matti. “Well... I don’t know. Havu will decide.” “Don’t take it bad guys. It’s for his own safety. I don’t want that people kill him. At the moment he is just enjoying life with me. Well if I don’t fall asleep on the sofa,” Janne smiled. Veli-Matti couldn’t get used of the idea that Matti was living just on the other side of the street where he lived. For him he was a monster. A creature that defeated the universal law. He never touched him. He couldn’t. He had a repulsing feeling.

To conclude the evening Rane prepared the famous Flying Friends dessert: caramel flans made by him, grilled almonds added by Havu and vanilla ice cream by Matti. “Oh you didn’t change the recipe!” Matti exclaimed when he saw the dish. “Nope. It’s made by friends for friends. Dead or alive. Now that you are back you can change the flavour of the ice cream if you wish,” Ahonen said and Matti refused. It was fine that way.

It was time for the friends to say goodbye. Not all of them hugged Matti. He was a bit sad about it but understood. He didn’t know how he would react if he was them. They all said that they hoped to meet soon and not in a year or in ten years. Before they left, Havu reminded to keep secret the fact that Matti was there and they promised. “It went well. I’m still alive,” Matti said with a smile. “Yep, you are lucky. You have great friends. Now help me to clean,” Havu ordered.

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25. The worm in the apple

October 21st

“What are you thinking of?” Matti asked when he saw that his friend was lost in his own world. They were sat on the sofa of the living room of Havu’s home. The curtains were closed and only one light was on in the corner. “I’m sorry. I was still at work. We arrested a guy in the Russian mafia case. He is one of the organizers of the car thieves. The network is now fragile. Tomorrow I’ve a strategic meeting with my supervisor and direct colleagues,” Havu told. When he came back to work after his accident Janne asked to work only on that case. His health was still fragile and he couldn’t be under stress like he was before. He was working for too long on that case and he really wanted to solve it. The case was big. Many people went arrested. Many witnesses confessed some useful details. In the folder there were many transcripts of interviews, recordings of phone conversations, pictures, banking transcripts and reports made by the different inspectors. Janne was the boss of his team since Juhanni Vartanen retired. Under his orders he had two colleagues and he was allowed to ask for more people if he needed for an arrest or any other occasions. “Janne, they will find another guy to replace him. They have a strong hierarchy and the number two is probably now at his place. There is only one way to control these networks.” “How? What do you know?” Janne asked, perplex. “Money. Without money they can’t move, they can’t plan, they can’t buy guns, they can’t pay killers or thieves. You have to freeze their money,” Matti suggested. Havu was looking at his friend who was sat at the other side of the table with a cup of coffee in his hand. Havu got up and took the folder with the documents he had with him from his computer room to the living room. He decided to show them to Matti. He felt that he needed a fresh view on the case. Maybe he would see something that Havu never saw. He opened the folder and put the papers and pictures on the table. Matti was silent and had a look at some pictures. He seemed to be very interested. “Mikhail Boklov is the big boss. But nobody knows where he is,” Janne said, pointing the picture Matti had in his hand.

“Sergei Sidorov is the banker. Here is a photo of him we took two months ago in Helsinki.” “I know him,” Matti told with a little smile. “Are you serious? How is it possible?” Happonen asked. “Do you promise to don’t kill me?” “Sure. Talk,” the policeman insisted. He took a voice recorder that was in his bag and put it on the table. He wanted to be sure that Matti was not joking. He breathed deeply to relax and told his story. “When I was a drug addict I was consuming with rich people in a kind of club. Bankers, lawyers, doctors, businessmen. Not with people like my brother. Once I talked a bit too much and I said that I was a very good investor. I was proud of me because I triple the capital of one of my clients in less than three weeks. Sergei was there and was interested. He said that he was a businessman in an insurance company. He asked me if I would agree to invest the money of one of his friends and to do fake certificates about the origin of the money. I said that it was risky and I could lose my job if someone noted it. He put a couple of bank notes of hundred euros in my pocket. There was one thousands Euros in there. He just said that I should not worry because I was very good and people had a total trust in me. He said that I would be paid and get heroin for free. The only conditions were to don’t talk about it and to don’t buy drug to a competitor. I accepted the deal and my brother was very angry. I just told him that the quality of his shit was too bad,” he told. “When was it? How much money did you launder? How much did you get?” Janne insisted. “Hey man, relax. I’m clean now and I’m not in touch with him anymore. I don’t know. It was about ten years ago. I laundered about fifty million Euros for five years. And I got about one million for me.” “So much! What have you done with that money? Did you give it to Nina?” “Janne, I’m not a genius but I’m not totally stupid either. This money is safe,” Matti told. “It’s dirty money. You have to give it to the government.” “It’s my money. I took huge risks and I will need it for my second life. Once I’ll be able to be totally free. Don’t record that!” “How will you get it? Without a valid ID, no bank will give you access to your account,” Janne replied and ignored his last remark. “You don’t know all my little secrets. Forget my bank account and let’s go back to the point. Do you want to destroy the network?” he asked seriously. “Of course I want. But now I realize that you are part of the net. It’s one more reason to send you to jail.” “Come on Havu! Let’s make a deal. I help you to destroy the network. If we succeed you forget about all my little crimes. If my plan is a total failure you can do whatever you want with me. You can send me to jail, you can kill me, you can sell me to an American laboratory, whatever. Is it fair?” Janne didn’t like the idea. His friend was strange and he realized that he didn’t know him at all. Why did he never see that dark side? “Little crimes? Stop fucking me about! You killed five people, one murder attempt, dealing with criminals, made and used fake documents, laundered dirty money, didn’t pay taxes on your capital, plus all what I ignore! If you go to jail you will stay there at least fifteen years!” “Don’t be so pessimistic. And I’m quite sure that the mission will be successful. And you have to separate my crimes between my two lives. In overall I’m not that bad.” Janne just rolled his eyes.

“What do you need?” Havu asked. “At the moment, all what you know about the network. Are you friend with Tami?” Matti asked while he was looking at a document. “Not really. And it’s partly because of you,” Janne reminded. “I’m sorry about it but we need him.” “Matti, it’s dangerous. These guys are no angels. They already shot on me if I need to remind you.” “Do you really think that I’m a bad guy? I won’t ask him to negotiate with these criminals. No, I need him as an IT expert.” “He will never accept to help us,” Janne replied. “Everybody accept for a little bit of money. And there is no risk for him.” “I already don’t like your plan. Who else do you need?” Havu asked with the arms crossed. “We need a spy. Someone that is quick and invisible. We need to know what they are doing, planning to do and where they are,” Matti told. “We tried already. One of our colleagues trained to enter the network. But the guys don’t trust easily. He is there since a year and he still never met the important members,” Janne told. “Do you listen when I’m talking? I said quick and invisible.” “What do you mean? Who do you think of?” “The best spy you can ever have: a ghost.” Janne put his head in his hands. He couldn’t believe it. “How will I justify to my supervisor how we will get the information?” “We can say that our guy prefers to stay anonymous. Or that it’s me. Don’t lose time with that detail.” “How many ghosts do you trust for the mission?” Havu asked. He couldn’t believe that these words were coming from his mouth. “Only one. Harri.” “And how do you communicate with him?” “I touch his grave to establish the contact. Or I can touch the hands of Saara but I don’t think that it’s a great idea,” Matti told. “Do you mean that we have to go to the island every time we want to talk to him?” “Yes, unless you want to move his grave to your garden.” “No, thanks,” Janne replied, disgusted about the idea.

“I know that you are perplexed but listen. Since how many years are you trying to destroy the network?” Matti asked. “Too many. But don’t worry. I know that we will succeed. It’s kind of you to try to help me but I can’t accept your help,” Havu replied with a bit of sadness in his voice. He knew that his friend wanted to help. “Havu, look at the situation. With your methods, results are coming slowly. So slowly that they have enough time to replace the guys you arrest. I can already tell you that you will never get them. There is only one strategy: to play their game with their rules. Don’t react and listen. I know that you disagree. They need to be destroyed from inside. I’ll be the Troy horse or the worm in the apple if you prefer. They will never think that I will betray them. They trust me. At least they did.” “They will kill you as soon as they will understand that it’s a trap,” Janne said, biting his finger nail. “I count on you and your guys to don’t let me down. But I trust you and I take the risk. You did so much for me. Let me do something for you,” Matti begged. Havu stayed silent, looking at the window. “Please, accept my help. This is also important for me.” “Okay, let’s do it,” Janne finally said. “Deal!” Matti answered with a wide smile.

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